I’m Super Fit - But Still Couldn’t Do a Push-Up. Here’s What Finally Worked After Ten Years of Trying

Nothing humbles me quite like my upper body strength. More specifically, my ability (or long-standing inability) to do a proper push-up.

I’ve always been able to manage the modified version, performed with my knees down. But take my knees off the floor, and suddenly everything changed. I could lower myself down and keep my chest hovering just above the mat, yet the journey back up felt impossible. My arms would shake, my core would lose tension, and gravity would win every time.

For years, I assumed it was a personal flaw - that I simply “wasn’t built” for push-ups. But physiologically speaking, the struggle makes sense. A study published in the European Journal of Sports Science found that women have significantly lower upper-body strength compared to men - roughly 40% less on average - largely due to differences in muscle mass distribution. That gap doesn’t mean women can’t build strength; it simply highlights that upper-body pushing movements may require more targeted training.

A 2019 study also found that higher push-up capacity was associated with a significantly lower risk of cardiovascular disease events. While the study focused on men, it reinforced something important: relative strength is a meaningful health marker. This is partly why I found my inability to do a single proper rep so disproportionately frustrating. This wasn’t just about gym pride; it was about capability.

After almost a decade of believing I couldn't do a push-up, I finally nailed it. Here’s what changed, and what expert personal trainers say actually makes the difference.

For more upper body strength-related content, we’ve got plenty of training inspo, from the best ten-minute arm workouts, best home arm workouts for beginners, and resistance band arm workouts, to PT-approved bicep workouts, tricep workouts, and arm workouts of all time.

Keen to know how to do a push up? So was I - here's what the experts reckon

Let’s Go Back To Basics: What Exactly Is A Push Up?

At its core, a push-up is a dynamic plank. From a high plank position, you lower your body toward the floor by bending your elbows, then press back up to full extension.

It sounds straightforward. In reality, it demands coordinated strength from multiple muscle groups working simultaneously.

The chest, shoulders and triceps drive the pressing motion, but they don’t work in isolation. Your core must stabilise the spine to prevent the hips from sagging, your glutes and quads maintain full-body tension, and smaller stabilising muscles around the shoulder blades help control the descent and ascent.

“A push-up is not just an upper body exercise, it is a full body movement,” explains personal trainer Aimee Victoria Long. “If the core is not engaged, the hips sag, the back arches, and all the pressure ends up in places you do not want it.”

In other words, it’s a strength exercise that requires great precision.

Why Are Push Ups Notoriously Difficult?

If you’ve ever felt irrationally defeated by a push-up, you’re in good company.

Phil Carpenter, Personal Trainer at PureGym Portsmouth, says the numbers speak for themselves. “Research we ran back in 2023 revealed that nearly one in three (32%) people living in the UK were unable to complete a single push-up. Just over half of the population (52%) were only able to complete a maximum of three push-ups at a time.”

Part of the challenge lies in the load. In a standard push-up, you’re pressing approximately 64–75% of your bodyweight, depending on hand and foot position. That’s a significant demand, especially if you haven’t specifically trained horizontal pressing strength.

Technique also plays a major role. Long frequently sees elbows flaring excessively, lower backs dipping, and heads jutting forward. “Another very common mistake is trying to force a full plank push-up before they have the strength for it, which usually just turns into a wobbly half rep with poor alignment,” she says.

And then there’s the core. Carpenter notes that many push-up issues stem from insufficient bracing. If the stomach and hips sag, it’s often a sign that the midline isn’t providing adequate support.

Struggling To Nail A Push Up? Here’s What The Experts Suggest

“There is absolutely no need to start with full plank push-ups,” says Long. “A box position or a kneeling plank is a much better place to learn the movement properly.”

Carpenter recommends incline push-ups and kneeling variations to help the body become familiar with the movement pattern, while also strengthening the chest and triceps for the concentric phase - the drive back up.

Both emphasise three key principles:

1. Prioritise control over speed

“Slow, controlled reps allow you to stay connected to the movement and build real strength,” says Long. Dropping quickly to the floor may feel productive, but it bypasses muscular control.

2. Tuck the elbows

Keeping the elbows closer to the body improves tricep engagement and reduces shoulder strain, according to Carpenter.

3. Build your core first

Exercises like planks, dead bugs and controlled kneeling push-ups lay the groundwork for safe, efficient movement. As Long puts it, push-ups require a baseline level of shoulder stability and coordination, something that needs to be earned.

I tried for almost a decade to nail a push up, until this unexpected turning point.

The moment I finally did a full push-up didn’t arrive during a dramatic gym breakthrough, but rather it crept up on me.

Two years ago, I began running consistently and incorporating structured strength work to support it. Around the same time, I leaned further into Pilates and Vinyasa yoga - drawn initially to the core work and mobility benefits, rather than any ambition to master push-ups.

And then, one day mid-workout, I lowered myself down and pressed back up - without collapsing.

Running doesn’t directly train push-ups, but it does improve overall muscular endurance and full-body coordination. Holding form under fatigue on a long run requires deep core engagement and anti-extension control, the same foundational stability needed to keep your hips from sagging in a plank. Pilates strengthened my deep core musculature and improved scapular control, while Vinyasa yoga quietly exposed me to repeated high-plank and chaturanga transitions, subtly building shoulder strength and time under tension without me framing it as “upper-body training”.

In hindsight, I wasn’t just getting fitter. I was building structural integrity. As Long explains, push-ups require a baseline level of core strength, shoulder stability and coordination. “Building that foundation first makes the movement safer and far more effective when you do introduce it.”

It turns out I didn’t just need stronger arms. I needed a stronger system - and I’d been training it all along.

How I nailed a push up after years of trying

Sadly, there was no magic remedy or viral hack which helped my push-up journey. It was repetition, patience and better programming layered on top of that broader foundation.

In yoga and Pilates, I was practising incline and kneeling push-ups weekly, treating them as skill work. I prioritised a full range of motion, even if that meant fewer reps.

“Five perfect reps will do far more for your progress than twenty messy ones,” says Long.

Carpenter echoes that patience: “Full range press ups are tricky, so don’t be disheartened if you can’t do them yet.”

Looking back, indirectly training my upper body made all the difference. The shoulder stability from yoga flows, the deep core activation from Pilates, the endurance from running, it's all compounded. By the time I attempted another full push-up, my body was finally capable of supporting the movement instead of fighting against it.

Today, I can manage three to five controlled reps. That may not sound extraordinary, but to someone who once physically could not push herself off the floor, it represents measurable progress.

Push-ups are deceptively demanding, not because they are advanced, but because they ask your whole body to cooperate. When it finally does, the feeling is less about brute strength and more about alignment = about everything working together.

And sometimes, progress is simply pressing back up.

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