Easy Escapes: Unwinding in the Woodland Suites at Cork’s Montenotte Hotel

I’ll admit it: Ireland has never sat particularly high on my wanderlust list. Rightfully or not, it’s always been the far-flung locales that captured my imagination — Alaska’s towering forests, Balinese jungle boltholes, the crystalline waters of the Caribbean. That changed during a Zoom call in which my birth chart was dissected and an astrocartography reading followed.

For the uninitiated, astrocartography is, as my astrologer (sadly, I will orchestrate any excuse to write/say/sing from the rooftops my astrologer) puts it, “Tinder for places, a way of mapping where in the world you might thrive, and where you might not”. I’ve written before about how astrocartography has changed how I travel, but for context: southern Ireland, I was told, had a sun line coursing straight through it.

This, my astrologer (sorry, last time) told me, meant I’d find Ireland charming; a place of peace and serenity. She was Irish herself and so I was wary of biases, but when a press invite to Cork’s The Montenotte Hotel appeared in my inbox mere moments after our call, it felt remiss—unwise, even—to ignore the universe.

The Vibe

Adding to the metaphysical serendipity, I was also celebrating my 35th birthday in Ireland — an apparently auspicious day this year. Unfortunately, it also meant catching the first flight out of London Stansted just hours after my birthday dinner party. Good planning, it seemed, would not be among the skills I’d be acquiring.

I slept the entire flight and soon found myself weaving past Ireland’s emerald fields on the short drive from the airport to the Montenotte Hotel, perched atop Lee View Hill with sweeping views of the city below. I arrived at 9am to much fanfare: a black-and-white–striped caddy, as if borrowed from My Fair Lady, whisked away our luggage before we were guided to the main Panorama restaurant, where I promptly ordered an Irish coffee, hangover obliging.

The restaurant hummed with breakfast chatter and the scrape of cutlery as guests and locals fuelled up for the day ahead. I, less robust, sank into a plush velvet sofa as my drink grew cold in my hand.

All that faded away the moment I made it to the relative tranquility of The Clubhouse. I was to stay in one of the smartly designed woodland suites that are scattered—aptly—along the forest floor surrounding the main estate. [Insert info on when they were designed.] This meant my guest and I could breakfast—should we choose—away from the hoi polloi of the main hotel in our own glassy retreat overlooking the [insert the river in Cork].

Relief came at The Clubhouse, where I was staying in one of the expertly designed Woodland Suites scattered along the forest floor surrounding the main estate.] This meant that — should we choose — breakfast could be taken away from the hoi polloi of the main hotel, in a glass-walled retreat overlooking the River Lee.

The suite itself was even better. A plump white bed sprawled before me, its pristine bedding immediately persuasive. The call of champagne cooling in a bucket on the mantel proved stronger, and I passed the rolltop bath and out onto the semi wrap-around balcony where, save for distant glimpses of other treehouse suites, I might have been entirely alone.

The Rooms

My area of the estate, as it’ll henceforth be known, comprises five Woodland Suites nestled among the trees and four River Suites cantilevered into the landscape. Each is outfitted with a king or super-king bed with a solid American oak timber frame and elegantly hidden Smart TV, private terrace or balcony, Dyson hairdryer and clothes steamer, and an in-suite honesty bar stocked with options you actually want. Designed to blur the boundary between architecture and the surrounding Irish woodland, they feel more like modern treehouses than conventional hotel rooms — albeit with all the comforts of a five-star stay.

Raised among the trees on stilts, the suites take on a distinctive octagonal form that wouldn’t look out of place on Grand Designs, their elevation maximising immersive views of nature. Inside, Scandinavian minimalism meets Japanese influences in spaces that are clean, calm, and functional. Natural light and warm material, such as Italian travertine, oak timber, bronze mirrored panels create a cosy, uplifting atmosphere that a hangover is no match for.

The Food & Drink

Seated for dinner in front of the Panorama restaurant’s sprawling glass windows framing the twinkling city below, the hangover that had stalked me all day — prompting me to question not only my decision to host a raucous dinner for 25 the night before, but my very existence — finally came into sharp relief. It also bestowed a champion’s appetite, and I made full use of the three-course comped meal: Pan-seared West Cork scallops, Roast chicken breast with crispy potato terrine and wild mushrooms, rounded off with a Pumpkin-spiced (this was October) crème brûlée with orange cinnamon shortbread

Afterwards, we waddled back to our room (we could’ve requested a buggy, but my partner was keen to prove we weren’t complete heathens) to flop in front of the giant TV that rises from a hidden compartment between the king-size bed and the sofa, and watch Titanic.

Breakfast, I would like to say, leaned towards the virtuous offerings at The Clubhouse, but I was still operating under the same “when in Rome” mentality that had seen me order an Irish coffee at 9am. My eyes fell instead on a plate heaving with juicy pork sausages, white bread slathered in Kerrygold, crispy bacon, and all the other trappings of a full Irish.

Steaming cups of every style of coffee imaginable arrived at our table with the same frequency and zeal as the wine the night before. Guests staying in either suite can also enjoy a complimentary sundowner from 5–6pm — cocktails change nightly, but I can enthusiastically vouch for the two I quaffed — served alongside a pleasingly generous spread of appetisers.

The Facilities

Relaxation is really the name of the game here—or at least it would be if I were capable of rest. In hindsight, I should have fully embraced the reasons I rarely saw anyone else leave their suite: the deep bath with views over the city and surrounding woods, and, if you swivel the screen, the TV. I imagine other couples, cloaked in white robes, padding over to the crystal-cut decanter for a tumbler of complimentary local whiskey.

But to my boyfriend’s chagrin, we were not that couple. Instead, we alternated between the pool, sauna, and steam room until I hit my activity goals on my Coros watch. The pool and gym are open to all guests, and over the weekend, they were well enjoyed. The spa, located in a separate wing of the main hotel, was blissfully quiet during my full-body massage, and regretfully I never made it to the Cameo’s cinema’s nightly screening as I was too busy necking Beamish (Don’t make the mistake of ordering Dublin’s Guinness in Cork, which locals of every ilk enthusiastically told me is the real capital of Ireland) at the Sin é’s infamous trad night.

How to Book

Starting room rates for The Woodland Suite Experience are from €610 per night, including breakfast, Nights-for-Nature tree planting, and access to all The Montenotte’s facilities and amenities including Panorama restaurant, Glasshouse rooftop bar, Cameo Cinema (over 18s only), Bellevue Spa, Salt Room, and The Motion Health Club. For more information visit The Montenotte Hotel website.