Why do orgasms feel good? A sexual health nurse breaks it down for you

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    Have you ever asked yourself: why do orgasms feel good?

    It’s a simple enough question, but the answer – not so much. Whether you got there with a partner, or thanks to a helping hand from one of the best sex toys, it’s a straight up fact that some orgasms do just hit different to others. But why?

    We’ve spoken to Sarah Mulindwa, Lovehoney ambassador, presenter of Channel 4’s The Sex Clinic and NHS sexual health nurse, to get an explanation of the scientific reasons as to why orgasms feel the way they feel.

    New Lovehoney stats show that almost four out of ten couples (37%) share their orgasms at least half the time they have sex. But are there different types of orgasm?

    Short answer: yes, and Mulindwa’s the expert in charge to guide you through all of your need-to-know questions. “When we have sex, what you feel physically sends signals through your nerves to the brain — which reacts by releasing chemicals that make you experience even more pleasure. That is why you get the phrase ‘post-orgasm glow’ to describe that feel-good mood you can experience after sex,” she explains.

    Keep reading for more info – and don’t miss our guides to the best condoms, best lube and best eco-friendly sex toys, while you’re here.

    Why do orgasms feel good? Your guide

    First thing’s first – what actually is an orgasm? 

    Good question. According to Mulindwa, as a woman becomes aroused, blood flows to the clitoris, vagina and nipples and creates a full-body sexual blush. Your heart rate and blood pressure will also increase, she shares.

    “As sexual tension builds, the outer third of the vagina becomes particularly engorged with blood, creating what researchers refer to as the ‘orgasmic platform’,” she explains.

    At the point of orgasm, a series of rhythmic contractions occur in the uterus, vagina and pelvic floor muscles. “The sexual tension caused by sex or masturbation releases certain chemicals, and muscles throughout the body may contract,” she goes on.

    Notice a feeling of warmth? That’s pretty normal – this warm feeling usually emanates from the pelvis and spreads throughout the entire body, shares Mulindwa.

    Why do orgasms feel so good? A couple in bed together, shot of their feet

    Are there different types of orgasms? 

    Oh yes. According to the nurse, orgasms can range in intensity, differ from different sex positions, and can feel different from person-to-person.

    “The female orgasm isn’t just an emotional and psychological response, but a physiological one, too,” she shares. That means that orgasms are very much a physical thing, and will vary every time.

    Noticed your orgasms change in intensity from month to month? That’s normal, too. It can vary because of a range of factors, including connection with your partner, sexual excitement and more. Recently learnt how to talk about a fetish and trying out bondage for beginners, pegging or watching ethical porn ? That might just affect it. Similarly, if you’re re-learning how to be intimate with your partner, it could be more intense and special.

    What are the most common types of female orgasm?

    The two most common types of orgasm are clitoral and vaginal.

    “Many female orgasms occur as the direct result of clitoral stimulation – this is the most common type of orgasm for women,” shares Mulinwa.

    So, why do orgasms feel good? 

    When you have an orgasm, your brain releases oxytocin, explains the nurse. “This is a ‘feel-good’ hormone responsible for bonding with others and it partly answers why orgasms can feel so amazing and make you feel closer to the person you’ve shared them with,” she shares.

    Similarly, because orgasms make you feel good, some people use partnered sex or masturbation as a means of relieving chronic stress symptoms. “Oxytocin enables relaxation and thus climaxing can make it easier for you to wind down after a busy day,” she continues.

    A study by neuroscientist Adam Safron outlined how rhythmic stimulation alters your brain activity during climax, which further explains why orgasms can feel so good.

    In short, sexual stimulation focuses our neurons to the point that we are sent into a trance. This trance allows us to concentrate solely on the pleasurable sensation you are experiencing. Talk about intense.

    “Sex is a source of pleasurable sensations and emotional connection, but beyond that, it’s actually an altered state of consciousness,” Dr. Safron shares.

    When in this trance, he shares that you lose all sense of self-awareness and consciousness and are able to block out all other nosies, feelings and smells around you.

    For his research, Dr. Safron reviewed related studies and literature that have been compiled over the years and created a model which shows how rhythmic sexual actively influences brain rhythms.

    The stimulation of particular nerves in a particular way and at a particular speed in a repetitive motion forces our neurons to focus on the activity and synchronise their own activity to it. So they basically join in on the fun, as it were.

    As the stimulation carries out, this joint up synchronisation spreads throughout the brain and allows it to focus only on the sensation your body is experiencing. This is known as neural entertainment, which seems like a rather fitting name if you ask us.

    “Before this paper, we knew what lit up in the brain when people had orgasms, and we knew a lot about the hormonal and neurochemical factors in non-human animals, but we didn’t really know why sex and orgasm feel the way they do,” says Dr. Safron.

    Why do orgasms feel so good? A woman lies in bed smiling

    5 benefits of having regular orgasms

    1. It can improve your mental health

    Now you know the answer to the age old question, why do orgasms feel good? It’s time to learn why they’re good for you, too. Fun fact: the brain manufactures and releases substances called neurotransmitters and neuropeptides during sexual stimulation and orgasm.

    “These substances are wonderful for your overall physical and emotional wellbeing,” explains Mulindwa.

    According to the expert, they can:

    • Reduce stress
    • Improve sleep
    • Enhance immunity
    • Boost mood

    You’ll probably want to take a read of our best sex toys for couples edit, and guides to bondage for beginners and pegging, then…

    2. It can boost body image

    Ever wondered how body image and sexual health are intertwined? Short answer: way more than you’d think…

    “Our body image can affect our mental health, which in turn has a strong influence on how we behave towards ourselves as well as towards others,” explains Mulindwa.

    She reckons that better orgasms can inspire a positive self image and self love, too, which in turn could make your sex life generally more pleasurable and you better at functioning sexually, too.

    3. It’s can actually be good for your skin

    Or so says the nurse. “As mentioned above, during sex, there’s an increase in the rate of blood flowing through your body, meaning more of those blood cells carrying oxygen can reach your face,” she explains.

    So, when your blood vessels start to dilate, you may get that rosy flushed look, she shares. “You may experience your increased amount of oxygen stimulating collagen production – say hello to collagen, and goodbye to lines and wrinkles,” she goes on.

    4. You’ll feel relaxed

    As anybody who’s ever been – well, left totally speechless after a particularly powerful orgasm can attest, they have some seriously sedating powers.

    “That’s because climaxing triggers surges of prolactin, a powerful relaxant hormone, and combined with the endorphins released during sex, can leave you feeling sleepy,” shares Mulindwa.

    5. You’ll keep things healthy down there

    Last but by no means least, when you have an orgasm, blood and nutrients rush to your vagina, which helps keep things down there in tiptop shape, explains the nurse. Vaginal care, sorted.

    “Studies have shown that women who orgasm once a week are more likely to have regular menstrual cycles every 26 to 33 days than those who have less or more irregular sex,” she concludes.

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