I’ve Finally Given Up on Finding My Perfect Red Lipstick—And It's The Most Liberating Beauty Decision I’ve Ever Made

Is there a bigger win than finding the perfect red lipstick? I wouldn’t know—it’s just what I’ve been told. Beauty, apparently, is simply a matter of finding the right products. If you manage to do so, you’re essentially winning.

As a beauty journalist, I’ve felt that pressure—to find the right products not just for myself but for others as well. But despite access to the world's experts and a plethora of products, I’ve not succeeded in my quest for the perfect red lipstick. I’ve been searching for years now, and I'm too embarrassed to admit exactly how many I've tried—just know that it’s been a long journey. And I’ve finally given up.

Before the tiny violins come out, it’s actually a relief. A burden lifted. What started as a fun beauty mission became a chore, in the frustrating and consuming way that only beauty lovers will understand.

The reality, though, is far less inclusive. For Black women, red lipstick has always been more complicated than just a colour choice. It’s never just makeup; it’s history, politics, and perception. It’s loaded.

Bright red lips were used as tools of ridicule and dehumanisation in racist caricatures of Black people. In minstrel shows, white performers would paint their faces black and exaggerate their mouths in bright red, as a means to mock and demean Black people. This has carried through into how Black people are depicted in various modes of media, from advertisements to films, creating an ugly association. It also lends itself to the idea that red lipsticks are too much for Black people. It’s too “loud”, too “unnatural”, too “clownish”, too “ridiculous”.

Even now, some corners of the internet still debate whether Black women “can” wear red lipstick. And of course, it has an impact on the way Black women feel about red lipsticks. In 2019, a Texas art exhibition titled Black Girls Don’t Wear Red Lipstick challenged this tension. The curators highlighted how, for generations, Black women were discouraged from wearing red and were told it implied promiscuity or defiance, or that it simply wasn’t flattering.

Despite all the negative associations, Black women have and are wearing red lipstick unapologetically, from Rihanna to Candice Brathwaite, reclaiming the choice for themselves. But the truth is, some things work for some people, and other things just don’t. For me, something that doesn’t work is red lipstick. I’ve yet to come across a shade that suits me and makes me feel good, let alone powerful or chic.

I’ve tried the orange-toned, warm reds that are supposedly perfect for darker complexions. I've gone against the grain with cool blue undertones to try something different. I could almost get away with a darker, vampy shade if I squinted at myself in the mirror (but real lipstick aficionados know that doesn’t count as a true red). I even tried creating my own red lipstick, courtesy of the Code8 Bespoke lipstick experience, and through no fault of the experience, I came away with a gorgeous, warm-toned nude.

In my case, giving up on the pressure to find the perfect red is finding the perfect solution to remedy the dilemma. I've come to realise that just as it's nice to wear a red lipstick, it’s also nice and chic not to wear one. Maybe I’m overreaching, but there is some empowerment in not participating in this red lipstick race. Or, maybe it’s that duality we've come away from. Beauty doesn’t have to be one thing; it can be multiple things simultaneously.

Today, we’re constantly told to buy, to try, to fix, to find, and rarely are we encouraged to stop searching and make peace with the idea that not every beauty formula and trend is for us.

Maybe the real beauty win is not finding the perfect red, but being ok with the idea that you don’t need to, and saying, "reds don’t suit me" and moving on. Because there is so much more to beauty than finding the one perfect product.