Ever wondered - what is a dildo? A sex expert explains your need-to-knows about the popular toy

Be honest: have you been scrolling through roundups of the best sex toys with one burning little question — what is a dildo? 

Don't be embarrassed if you're not sure. We're on the way to de-stigmatising sex talk, but most of us grew up having a total of zero conversations about pleasure which means the definitions of some sex products might not be quite so clear.

Given that the global sex toy market was valued at $30.48 billion in 2021, a lot of people have a toy tucked away in their top drawer. Whether it's one of the best vibrators or best lubes, many people are using toys to get satisfaction. Yet how often do you have honest conversations with your friends about things like dildos and anal toys? We bet the answer is rarely.

So if you need a dildo education, we've got you. Here, we spoke to sex experts Georgia Di Mattos, co-founder of sexual wellness and medical brand iPlaySafe, and Lucy Rowett, a sex coach at The Lowdown, to find out exactly what a dildo is. And if you find yourself being turned on by the thought of them, don't forget to scroll our roundup of the best dildos and best suction dildos. You're so welcome. 

What is a dildo? 

"Traditionally, a dildo is an object shaped like an erect penis used for sexual stimulation," says Di Mattos.

What sets dildos apart from other sex toys is that they are predominantly a penetrative product used in the vagina or anus, says Di Mattos. "A dildo is designed for internal pleasure, unlike other sex toys that might be more focused on clitoral stimulation. But it’s important to remember that you don’t only need to go deep when using a dildo — experiment and see what excites you," she says.

You've probably seen the penis-lookalikes before, with some dildos being incredibly lifelike featuring veins and skin-like texture. Not into penises or rather something more abstract while you're getting off? Thankfully, there's now so much more to dildos than just penis-imitators: "As times have changed and there is a greater attention paid to the world of sexual pleasure, sexuality and kink, dildos have evolved too and the variety in products available has greatly increased," says Di Mattos. 

While all dildos are based on the traditional shaft, many now come in a variety of shapes, sizes, textures, and designs. A bit like jiggle balls, the market has advanced in the last few years, meaning there are far more options now to choose from.

Looking to make dildo usage a little easier? Our rounds ups of the best lube, best condoms, and best sex chairs might all come in handy.

What should I look for in a dildo? 

Think about the shape and design

First things first - "When shopping for a dildo, take note of its shape and design," says Di Mattos. "A curved design will allow it easily to slide and stimulate the G-spots, while beaded or textured materials might add extra stimulation."

Opt for body safe

Be smart when it comes to materials. "Whatever sex toy you buy, you must make sure that the materials it is made from are body safe as in the UK, like most countries, there is no legal requirement to assure the quality of materials," says Rowett. "Don't buy toys made of jelly or cyberskin, even if they are cheaper, as the material is not only porous — meaning they harbour bacteria — but they can degrade and get into your bloodstream."

Invest in quality materials

Instead, opt for silicone, glass, stainless steel or ceramics. "Glass, steel and ceramic dildos are something to consider as they can take on temperatures — run under a hot tap or prepare a bowl of ice then swish the dildo in before using for extra sensation," says Di Mattos. 

What is the difference between a vibrator and a dildo? 

Here's the confusing part: some dildos vibrate, but not all vibrators are dildos. Many dildos aren't electronic devices but simply moulded silicone, glass or metal that you move manually. But some dildos do come with batteries so, when switched on, the dildo vibrates. 

"Vibrations are a great way to stimulate the body and can bring internal pleasure," says Di Matteo. 

Whether you prefer a traditional dildo or a vibrating dildo is all down to your own pleasure preferences — there's no right or wrong. 

If you think a vibrator is more your style, then don't forget to check out our roundup of best vibrators. 

How many people use dildos?

It's thought that phallic tools have existed for around 28,000 years, but dildos, as we know them today, have been around since 1850. So, throughout history, you bet a lot of people have had their hands on a dildo. 

Today, they are the second most common toy beaten only by vibrators, with 30% of people in the UK owning a dildo, according to research by Idealo. 

If you haven't - what are you waiting for? Both experts agree that sex toys can be an easy and fun way to live your common sex dreams or sexual fantasies. That, and research has also shown that sexual wellness can boost both your physical and mental health. Win, win.