So, you've treated yourself to one of the best sex toys but are wondering - how do you use a dildo for the best pleasure? We get it — they might not be as high-tech as clitoral suction toys or some of the best vibrators, but that doesn't mean it's easy to figure out how to use the toys.
In fact, if you Google "how to use a dildo", there are over 242,000,000 results (phew!), and not all of it is exactly expert recommended. So we picked the brains of Georgina Di Mattos, co-founder of sexual wellness and medical brand, iPlaySafe, and Ness Cooper, a clinical sexologist who writes sex toy reviews for Marie Claire, for some expert advice that you can trust. Below, she's shared her top tips for using dildos, whether you're a beginner or an experienced dildo user looking for new ways to stimulate pleasure.
Before you scroll down, you might want to read up on our article answering what exactly a dildo is. It might seem obvious, but we have tips in there about the best dildo materials and uses.
And remember that we have buying guides for the best dildos and the best suction dildos, as well as the best vibrators and jiggle balls, so you can find your perfect purchase.
How do you use a dildo? Your expert-led guide
As a quick refresh if you *didn't* click through to our detailed explainer on what a dildo is - a dildo is a penetrative product originally designed to mimic a penis.
Nowadays, there are loads more abstract designs that mean people who don't like penises or prefer less graphic sex toys can still enjoy the shape of a shaft.
The most common way to use a penetrative dildo is inside your vagina or anus. While this is by no means an exclusive list of ways to use a dildo (you can get as imaginative as is safe!), these steps can help you experience better pleasure and comfort, whether using alone or with a partner.
1. Begin with foreplay
Yep, even if you are having solo sex, you can't skip this bit. For safety, you can't just push a toy inside you without some kind of warm-up, so begin running your hands over the area you want to penetrate and turning yourself on.
If you are opting for self love alone, our guides to how to masturbate and masturbation techniques might just help.
2. Lube it up
Cooper always adds lube to her toys before putting them on her body.
It's essential to help toys easily penetrate, explains Di Mattos. "Use lubricant to prepare the head of the dildo, as well as rubbing it from your hands onto your inner and outer labia or anus," she explains. (We have a roundup of the best lube, in case you were wondering.)
3. Insert the dildo
Next up? Insertion. "Slowly push the dildo into the opening, spreading the lube as you do," says Di Mattos. "Then move the dildo in and out in small, slow motions. It’s important to remember that you don’t need to go deep when using a dildo as your body has many nerve endings that can be stimulated for pleasure. Experiment and see what excites you."
4. Switch up the tempo
If your dildo has a vibration setting, you might want to turn it on now. Alternatively, play with moving the dildo in and out at different tempos and speeds for your pleasure.
Remember - it's all about what works for you.
5. Try new angles
"Twisting the product can help some people experience pleasure, or try ‘circling’ the toy while inside you to hit all of the inside of the internal walls and reach the G-spot," says Di Mattos.
When using a dildo, take note of its shape and design. "If you have a beaded and curved design, explore new spots inside your vagina that might have different sensations," says Di Mattos.
6. Add extra stimulation
"Use the dildo to explore your body and rub your clitoris. The clitoris has tens of thousands of nerve endings and 70% of women admit to preferring clitoral stimulation — even when penetration is taking place. Alternatively, use a bullet vibrator for external stimulation at the same time as using your dildo for penetration to heighten sensations, or use a rabbit dildo that has clitoral stimulation built in," says Di Mattos.
"You can also use temperature play with dildos by dipping glass or ceramic dildos into warm or cold water before inserting for extra pleasure."
7. Clean the dildo
And finally, make sure you clean your product. "This is vital for hygiene and to prevent the spread of STIs," says Di Mattos.
Our guide to how to clean your sex toys will help, but always check the instructions on your individual dildo for how to clean it. Some that are powered electronically or made from sensitive materials might have particular dos and don'ts. Generally, washing a bowl of warm, soapy water will do the trick.
Other ways to use a dildo:
The fun of sex toys is that they're designed for you to experiment with. All the experts we spoke to for this piece encouraged getting creative with how you use your dildos. Suction dildos, which stick to hard surfaces, are great when used in the shower or as a ride-on sex toy. Vibrating dildos can also be used to stimulate the clitoris, as recommended by Di Mattos.
"Glass and textured dildos are also amazing when used to massage out tight knots during erotic massage and can glide smoothly over the body with massage oil," says Cooper.
In short: there are so many ways to use a dildo for your pleasure.
How to stay safe when using a dildo:
If you follow the steps above, you'll likely be using a dildo safely. But the key points are:
Be mindful of size
"There are different sizes available, so make sure the product you choose is optimum to you, your body — but don’t be afraid to experiment with bigger sizes," says Di Mattos.
Think about the material
"Make sure the material used is safe for the body and cruelty free," she adds. In the UK, there's no regulation on dildo materials, but generally the best ones to opt for are silicone, glass, steel and ceramic.
Prioritise communication
Communication: "Talk with your partner about your needs and wants. It could be fun and spice up the experience by going shopping together, for instance. This will help get you both in the mood and carry the fun into the bedroom," says Di Mattos.
Be sure to clean, after use
Just to reiterate, dildos must be properly cleaned between uses.
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