Therapists Say These Are the Taboo Topics You Should Be Talking About in Therapy—But Probably Aren’t

It’s not that long ago that even saying ‘I go to therapy’ felt like a taboo statement; something you’d mark vaguely in your calendar as ‘appointment’ and would pretend was a trip to the dentist or doctor’s when asked by friends.

Thankfully, things these days have shifted. Therapy is a normal part of everyday conversation - something we mention over coffee, in the group chat, or even share online. In fact, more than a third of us have sat in a therapist’s office at some point, and as conversations around mental health continue to open up, that number is only going one way.

But, as I’m quickly realising in my own therapy journey, getting through the door is just the start. Once you’re there, it’s far from plain sailing. We’re told therapy is a space without judgment, a relationship unlike any other, and yet many of us still find ourselves holding things back. Speaking completely openly doesn’t come easily, especially if you’re used to keeping the peace or worrying about how you come across in the outside world.

That’s often why certain topics still feel off-limits, even in therapy. Sex, money, addiction, resentment, or even how you feel about the therapy itself can be difficult, even scary, to put into words.

And yet, according to therapists, these are often the areas where the most useful work happens. Below, two experts share the topics we’re still avoiding in therapy, why they matter, and how to start talking about them.

If you’re in search of ways to support your mental health at home, I recommend reading these 7 therapist -backed habits and this psychologist’s guide to somatic therapy techniques. We’ve also got plenty of stress-relieving tips, including colour walking, an easy morning breathwork routine and a tai chi flow to boost inner calm.

A Therapist Shares The Uncomfortable Conversations Worth Having - And Why They're More Common Thank You Think

What is a therapeutic taboo?

According to most dictionary definitions, a taboo is a topic, action, or word that’s forbidden and avoided due to embarrassment, offence or shame.

When we enter the therapy room, those feelings we carry with us in the outside world don’t just disappear. As a result, the subjects we consider taboo in the rest of our lives are often the same ones that feel hardest to talk about in therapy.

Importantly, though, explains clinical psychologist Lily Robinson, “these subjects aren’t taboo because they're rare. They’re taboo because they go against how we think we’re supposed to feel or behave.”

Take intrusive thoughts, for instance. Those unwanted, automatic ideas that seem to pop into our heads uninvited and without warning. We tend to think we’re the only ones having them, but therapist Emma Mahony says they’re actually very common. Research evidences this too, with 94% of participants in one study (777 university students living across six different continents) reporting at least one intrusive thought in the previous three months. “These thoughts can be about anything, including violence, harm or inappropriate behaviour,” says Mahony. “Sometimes they’re shocking because they violate your value system, but that doesn’t mean that there's something wrong with you, or that you want to act on them.”

Of course, there are plenty of other taboo topics too, and you may have your own depending on your experiences, environments and beliefs. “There are so many topics that feel uncomfortable to bring to therapy because of the way we’ve been taught to view them by culture, religion and family dynamics,” says Robinson. The ones she encounters most frequently include:

• Intrusive thoughts, especially those of a violent or sexual nature
• Resentment towards family members, including partners and children
• Ambivalence about parenthood
• Financial struggles
• Sex, sexuality, fantasies and desires
• Jealousy
• Political beliefs
• Frustration about the therapy process itself

Mahony agrees. “Taboo topics in therapy tend to be those things we would feel nervous sharing with a friend, a stranger or even anonymously online because of a fear of how they might be perceived. They go against our own identity, which creates a lot of shame and fear around expressing them.”

Why are taboo topics so tough to talk about in therapy?

You don’t have to have been to therapy to understand the anxiety that comes with discussing a taboo topic. If you’ve ever rehearsed a difficult conversation in your head, only to completely bottle what you wanted to say in the moment, you’ll have a pretty good idea of the feeling.

The irony is that, rationally, most of us know therapy is a space free from judgment. But as Robinson explains, that doesn’t mean we can easily leave those fears at the door. “We don’t suddenly stop being human just because we enter the therapy room,” she explains. “We still want to be liked, understood and seen as a ‘good’ person. If you’ve learned in other relationships that certain things aren’t safe to say, that comes with you into the room.”

Mahony agrees, adding that it’s normal to need time to get to know your therapist before raising a taboo topic. “These are not things that are typically welcomed in everyday conversation, so like in any relationship, you can move slowly until you gain comfort,” she says. “You don't need to immediately feel safe with a therapist just because they tell you you can.”

What are the benefits of talking about taboo therapy topics?

Once you do feel safe enough to share, though, Robinson says that talking about these taboo topics can bring a real sense of relief. “The things we avoid tend to grow,” she explains. “Once you bring them into therapy, and they get to be seen, named and understood, that’s where shame can start to loosen.”

There’s also the fact that when we bring a taboo to therapy, we often realise we’re much less alone than we imagined. “People often discover they’re not as ‘abnormal’ as they thought,” says Robinson, “which can provide relief and perspective.”

Mahony agrees, adding that it’s often within these disclosures that the deeper work begins. “When clients see that they can share something difficult and not be judged or rejected, it builds trust,” she explains. “From there, therapy can explore why these thoughts or feelings are arising and support the person in making sense of them in a constructive and compassionate way.”

How can I bring up a taboo topic in therapy?

It’s one thing knowing that taboo topics are welcome in therapy, but it’s quite another to actually bring them up.

The good news is that Robinson has some conversation starters and reminds us that it doesn’t need to be perfect or polished. “The best way to start is to be a bit messy or indirect,” she says. “Even naming the fact that something is hard to talk about is a starting point.”

• There’s something I’ve been avoiding saying…
• I feel a bit embarrassed bringing this up…
• I’m worried what you might think if I say this…

If even speaking out loud feels too much at this stage, Mahony says there are other options. “You could write it down or email your therapist ahead of time with the topic you’d like to discuss,” she says. “This can act as a gentler entry point and reduce the pressure of bringing it up directly in session.”

How will your therapist respond to you bringing up a taboo topic?

If you have any hint of being a people pleaser in your personality, then you’ve probably worried about how your therapist will react to you opening up about a taboo. And whilst their approach will vary depending on their communication style or school of thought, Mahony says that any “skilled therapist will respond with empathy, compassion, and non-judgment.”

Robinson agrees. “A good therapist isn’t there to judge you - they’re there to understand you,” she explains. “That means you can expect curiosity, steadiness, and a focus on making sense of what’s coming up, rather than labelling it as good or bad.”

In practice, that support often begins with how your therapist meets you in the moment. For Robinson, that will look like “acknowledging the courage it took for you to say it, checking in on how it feels to have shared, and moving at a pace that feels manageable for you.”

What should you do after discussing a taboo topic in therapy?

As I’ve learned through my own therapy, emotional aftercare is an essential part of the process, especially after you’ve discussed a sensitive topic.

“Opening up about something deeply personal can be emotionally draining,” says Mahony, while Robinson adds that it’s normal to feel raw or vulnerable afterwards. “It’s all part of the processing,” she explains, “and it’s important to remind yourself that talking about it doesn’t make you bad, it makes you human.”

Aftercare post therapy can look like “anything that slows your day down a bit and feels a bit sensory,” says Robinson, who shares some ideas to get us started.

• Journaling
• Going for a walk
• Giving yourself permission to rest and process what came up
• Having a shower
• Sitting outside

If you feel worried about how your therapist will feel about the session, Mahony offers some reassurance. “It’s important to know that nothing you shared will have changed the relationship. Your therapist will remain present and supportive. They may challenge you, they may set limits, and they may name concerns, but you will be able to return to the following session to continue the work. That provides stability and safety.”

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