The sartorial equivalent of ‘I’m Over You'...
‘I’m going to bump into my ex and his new partner at a party on Saturday and I have just the outfit!’ said no one ever. Seeing an ex is one of life’s most anxiety-inducing inevitabilities, and if you have mutual friends, an unfortunate eventuality.
Your first option is to hermitise yourself, swerving any social gathering that he’s potentially been invited to, under the guise of ‘antibiotics/ a prior engagement/ greasy hair..?’. But that is a pretty dull existence. We recommend taking a leaf out of Suki Waterhouse’s book on bossing a break-up, and turning this situation into one of life’s little victories.
Suki’s strategy – when she knew she’d see her ex Bradley Cooper and his supermodel other half, Irina Shayk, at Wimbledon – was to look as cool and carefree as possible. The sartorial equivalent of ‘I’m Over You’, it seems, is a Stella McCartney, pink floral bustier and matching full-length satin slip.
Her pretty, bohemian outfit was completed by an elegant beige shawl, chunky suede platforms, ornate, retro sunglasses and her dear old dad on her arm. With her tousled hair and minimal make-up, her look oozed, ‘like I give a…’ insouciance.
To begin: empty your mind of any rom-com revenge fantasies. The aim here is not find the most dramatic power-suit plausible and stride in on seven inch stilettos with a hair flick and a curt nod. To breeze through this with your dignity in tact, you simply need to be the best version of yourself. Easy, right?
In case you need some guidance, here’s how we imagine Suki prepped for her Wimbledon showdown:
Break out your go-to outfit. That one thing that you always feel great in. Who cares if he’s seen you in it a gazillion times, this is all about you.
Or… go shopping. If ever there were an occasion for retail therapy, this is it. Though again, heed the ‘best version of yourself’ mantra and buy something with longevity in mind, not under the influence of your intel on his opinion of your style.
Stalk with caution. If you are going to suss out his new beau on social media, do so because it’s ‘research’. It’s good to know what to expect, so you don’t find yourself mercilessly inspecting every inch of ‘the new you’ once you eventually come face-to-face. But you won’t feel sound of mind after a lengthy stalking session that causes you to accidently proclaim upon introduction: ‘Didn’t you already wear that dress to your sister’s graduation in 2014?’ Put.your.phone.down.
Leave your hair alone. Emotionally-loaded situations can spur you to try a dramatic new hairstyle, but consider the implications of your new ice white bob/candyfloss pink ‘do going horribly, hilariously wrong. Save it for another day.
Finally, compile a badass playlist. Mentally prepare yourself with a couple of Beyoncé’s best middle-finger anthems, and you’re good to go.