What if feels like... having your first threesome

Laura* said she felt both elation and liberation afterwards.

Channel 4’s recent series, My First Threesome, explores sexual fantasies, kinks and adventures, and reveals some surprising statistics about attitudes to sex in a post-lockdown world. The production company, which battled against the government for air time according to The Daily Mail, conducted research which found that a threesome is the nation's top fantasy.

So, what is a threesome like? And can there ever be such thing as an accidental threesome? Both good questions, which we've asked Laura* from London. Having had a threesome recently, she's ready to share the story of her first experience - of how empowering she found it, what the best bit was, and how she might just continue to have sex with not one, but two partners at a time.

As Emma Sayle, sex expert and CEO of Killing Kittens, says: “It's really refreshing to hear stories like Laura's - I love how empowered, in control and confident she felt. This is how every woman should feel and this is why I launched KK."

Keep reading for Laura's story - and don't miss our guides to the best lube, best condoms, best sex toys and best sex toys for couples, while you're here.

My first threesome: "I had this sense of elation and liberation afterwards"

"Much like the majority of people, a threesome was always something I was intrigued by but always seemed out of reach. How does someone go about getting into a threesome? Porn makes it look so easy but realistically I knew it would never be that straightforward. I also never liked the idea of picking up two random people on a night out, you never know what you're going to get."

"So, after joining Killing Kittens (a private member’s sex club for women) during lockdown, I knew this would be the perfect opportunity. The parties seemed like the perfect place to try all the things that I had been curious about but in a safe environment that I knew I could control without any pressure."

"At first when I really started to think about it as a possibility, I thought I would want to join a couple. A couple seemed like a safe bet. I was of the thinking that I would be clueless on what to do in a threesome situation so surely by doing it with a couple they would be able to guide me, tell me clearly what I should be doing and just fit into what they already know works for them. That way the pressure would be off me to navigate the situation and I would just be their plaything for the night then leave without any attachment. I wouldn't be vulnerable to get jealous or have any emotional ties."

"I spoke to a few couples about joining them for a threesome, but after being invited for drinks to see if we would have the right chemistry, I got cold feet every time. The idea of meeting a couple with the purpose of a threesome at the end of it felt like too much pressure for my liking. What if I liked one and not the other, what if I don't like either of them but they're coming with an expectation, what if they want to do something I’m not comfortable with?"

"So, I decided that the party would be the best place to go for it. That way, no matter who it was with I would have the freedom to disappear if I wanted to."

Three is not a crowd

"My first threesome ended up being with a woman from a couple and my friend, which wasn't the dynamic I was expecting but because of this I felt completely at ease and in control."

"It was such a spontaneous moment! My friend and I went into the playroom, I led the way and locked eyes with a woman who was with her husband. I went over and in the heat of the moment took charge and got it going."

"The reality of it was in many ways very different to how I had imagined it would go. Neither in a good nor bad way, just different. I felt so in control of the situation and surprised myself when I took charge so that it really did become my first threesome. I left my inhibitions at the door and a wave of desire took over in the heat of the atmosphere. I thoroughly enjoyed my experience and after a while I realised it had become more than a threesome."

"I had this sense of elation and liberation afterwards. Knowing that I was completely in control and I had the power to be as involved or uninvolved as I wanted helped me to embrace my sexual desires in that moment. It was such an empowering and satisfying feeling to know you're giving someone such great pleasure and, even better, knowing that your first time was a success."

Carrying on exploring

So, will she continue having threesomes now she's tapped into her sexual fantasy? Short answer, yes - as long as she has a desire too, she will.

"Since filming the Channel 4 show, My First Threesome, I have already had another threesome and will continue to take part in them for as long as I want to and have a desire too."

"Having a threesome hasn't caused me any personal problems, if anything it’s just shown me that even as a young single woman, I can pursue my desires in a safe consensual way. All I hear from other people is 'I wish I had the confidence to do it'. But why not? Doing these things has given me a level of confidence I didn't know I could achieve."

"My advice to anyone considering having a threesome would be really consider which environment you would feel the most comfortable being in and make sure you have the confidence to say no if it's not right for you. Don't be afraid of what other people may think, at the end of the day it's about you and what you want so don't let other people get in the way of that."

"Ultimately enjoy yourself, that's what it's all about. Having fun and new experiences is where we find joy and if that's through fulfilling your sexual desires in a threesome or whatever it might be, then go for it."