Which to *add to basket*, and which to avoid
Newsflash: you’re reading it. Not only does this article run you through the very best male sex toys available to buy right now, but they’re hand-picked by a man who actually tests the toys day-to-day for a living. Yep, you read that right.
We’re pretty convinced that the sex toys in this roundup are, if nothing else, guaranteed to give you a mind-blowingly good orgasm.
Top picks: this vibrating anal butt plug (what’s not to love) and the P Spot magic wand attachment prostate massager from LoveHoney. Trust us – they’re worth the investment to take things up a notch in the bedroom.
Four words: you are so welcome. Keep reading to see what the sex-pert has to say on the best male sex toys available to buy now.
On the hunt for the best male sex toys? This is what to look for
‘At my day job, most of my colleagues are male; or to put it more accurately, a bunch of ‘lads’. Straight dudes who like the gym, FIFA and top-quality, edgy banter about sex. Whilst, they’re all healthier and better at FIFA than me, their ‘bedroom knowledge’ honestly comes across as pretty lacking.
Mentions of sex toys, in particular, inspire endless giggles and once they found a butt plug shaped like a Garden Gnome online and that kept them occupied for weeks. I can’t bring myself to tell them about my second job because they’d have so many questions that their brains might implode.
This is a common thing for blokes. My female friends generally have a pretty good working knowledge of things that vibrate and how to use them to get off; it’s just a fact of life.
Normalising male sex toys
Although, for most guys, toys are still a weird, forbidden taboo. Male toys are something to laugh about, buy as a gag gift for a mate, or to recoil in horror when they find in their girlfriend’s bottom drawer. Not something to use yourself. No sir!
I mean, it’s understandable, as I didn’t start using toys for a long time.
For us guys, you usually don’t need much more than the endless amounts of free porn available on the internet and your own two hands; even one will usually do the trick. Does a rubber vagina make me a sofa-masturbating loser? Does a butt plug make me gay? Our male insecurity truly knows no bounds and that’s all it is, insecurity.
Toys are great and there’s nothing to worry about.
Best male sex toys: ones I don’t recommend
I think cock rings are definitely the most ubiquitous male sex toy, right? I mean, you can buy them in vending machines in your average pub toilet, after all. My advice is…don’t.
The point of a cock ring is to make the man harder and to help him maintain the erection as it keeps blood flowing to the all the right places. Using one totally doesn’t mean you’re impotent and they actually do make sex last longer and feel more intense, even if you would usually get on fine without one. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want that?
They’re weird. Let’s discuss.
The Fleshlight is probably the most notorious of all male toys and one that the lads in my office definitely know the name of. The Fleshlight is a brand name, but there are a bunch of different options for fake vaginas out there.
I completely sympathise with anyone who thinks buying a rubber vagina that’s moulded on a porn star’s body parts and comes in a ‘subtle’ fake torch is inherently sleazy, because it is a bit.
The key is to do some research and choose one that suits you. The minimal design of the Elysium is my personal favourite and they’re actually pretty intense.
The good thing about male masturbators are that they can help build up stamina like Rabbits do for women.
Although, I’m not going to lie – hanging up a realistic fake vagina to dry in your bathroom really does feel weird.
So, next, let’s just get this out of the way, because I know it’s a big deal for some guys; liking things in your butt does not make you gay. Men can try a strap-on with your girlfriend or a vibrator on your own and your heterosexuality will remain intact.
Best male sex toys: ones I do recommend
There are a lot of toys out there for dudes to put up their butts. Initially, it will take some practice to work his way up to it because it’s a kind of pleasure that you just won’t have experienced before.
Butt plugs are fun and pretty kinky and he will honestly come harder with one in.
The prostate is sort of the male equivalent of the G-spot, in that if you stimulate it with something that vibrates, it feels really intense.
G spot massagers
Massagers are soft and flexible enough to hit the spot and stay in comfortably for as long as you need.
Mantric Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Vibrator, £69.99 | Lovehoney
Topline: this one’s worth the investment. It’s remote-controlled and offers powerful P-spot stimulation. The curved shaft, complete with bulbous tip, ‘seeks out the prostate’, and provides massage to your perineum from the flared, textured base massages the perineum. Enjoy.
And, thought vibrating wands were just for women? Well, my Climax wand is honestly the best toy I own. It looks beautiful, it has a ridiculous amount of speeds and vibration patterns (the highest speeds are so intense they might actually hurt, so be careful) and it feels absolutely unbelievable on the underside of your head.
Wand Essentials P-Spot Magic Wand Attachment for Men, £24.98 | Amazon
According to the website, it’s time to pleasure your prostate. ‘Enjoy Earth-shattering climaxes without touching your penis once – this magic wand and the precision of this P-spot attachment will knock your socks off’. Hear, hear.