I Stopped Trying To “Fix” My Tiredness For A Month. I Started Listening To It Instead

Ladies, I’m calling a town hall meeting—I need to air an intrusive thought. When did being knackered become a personal failing—and “fixing” it a measure of how well we’re doing at life?

Actually, I lied. This isn’t an intrusive thought so much as a conversation I’ve been having with almost every woman in my life. We’re on the same treadmill—the seemingly endless urge to fix everything, with the wellness world giving us an ever-expanding toolkit to keep us running.

Guilty as charged. The minute I feel sluggish or vaguely unlike myself, I’m hunting for answers, only stopping when I feel satisfied with my “fix”. That fix being: supplements, cold plunges, earlier bedtimes, caffeine hacks, morning sunlight, protein, electrolytes, exercise. Anything to get me back to firing on all cylinders, preferably by tomorrow. It rarely occurs to me to question the pace I'm trying to maintain. I simply want to feel better so I can crack on. Perhaps that’s the mantra of modern life: feel better, do more.

Hardly surprising really when there’s always another fix promising to get us back to 100%. A 2025 Which? survey found that 76% of UK adults surveyed took supplements, with one in six supplement users taking at least four. We’re certainly not short of solutions. But are we getting any closer to asking the right questions?

So, for the sake of our fatigue, take a seat: an intervention is on the cards. For a month, I stopped trying to “fix” my tiredness and started paying attention to what it might be telling me. With expert advice, I’m separating useful fixes from wellness waffle—and discovering whether, in trying to outrun my tiredness, I’ve lost touch with the basics my body actually needs.

What Happened When I Stopped Trying To “Fix” My Tiredness For A Month

Is It Normal to Feel This Tired? What Tracking My Energy Revealed

Tracking my fatigue for a month was always going to be humbling for a chronic Type A who says yes to everything, then wonders why she’s got nothing left. Being busy is my kryptonite, but also my go-to excuse for feeling tired; finding a fix is my knee-jerk reaction. Cue a flurry of little rituals designed to wipe the fatigue slate clean: checking Oura scores, bargaining with myself over whether a sluggish morning needs a stronger coffee or an earlier night, the PM slump fixed with a protein bar of electrolyte (yes, I really do tell myself these work)

But my notes revealed that tiredness wasn’t the shapeless fog I’d assumed. It has rhythm.

Where I was in my cycle was a clear starting point. My energy ebbed and flowed with it, while the daily dips were surprisingly predictable: I often felt a slump around noon, then another between 4 pm and 6 pm. Mornings between 8 and 10 a.m. were generally better; I’d often get a second wind around 1 pm, and sometimes again in the evening. Exercise threw up another surprise: on days when I felt too exhausted to move, a workout could leave me feeling as though someone had plugged me back in.

My Oura score was less straightforward. I’d become so invested in its nightly verdict that a poor score could have me writing off the day before it began. More REM sleep also seemed to coincide with better energy, even after fewer hours overall—an interesting pattern, though hardly proof that one sleep stage held the key.

To make sense of it all, I spoke to GP Dr Jessica Little, who explained that she would first look at three things: “the pattern of fatigue, the duration of fatigue, and the impact it is having on everyday life”. ​

My cycle, it seemed, offered a useful clue. Little says, "A predictable dip linked to poor sleep, stress, or the days before a period can be reassuring. If tiredness follows a familiar menstrual pattern but you otherwise feel well and can carry on as usual, that may represent your individual normal.”

I’m assured that understanding our baseline matters more than running to any “fix”. “A noticeable change from this—struggling with work, exercise or socialising when you previously managed comfortably - is more concerning”, explains Little—particularly if someone who previously managed work, exercise and socialising comfortably is now struggling to get through an ordinary day. "Fatigue that persists for several weeks without explanation, worsens, doesn’t improve with adequate rest or starts affecting everyday life warrants investigation. The same goes for fatigue accompanied by symptoms such as breathlessness, palpitations, unexplained weight loss or heavy menstrual bleeding."

My cycle explained a familiar dip, but not necessarily everything. To stop reflexively reaching for another hack, I first needed to understand what was driving my tiredness in the first place.

Sleep Debt, Stress or Something Else? How to Work Out What’s Behind Your Fatigue

According to my Oura ring, I’m accumulating sleep debt. But what does that actually look like beyond a less-than-glowing sleep score? My stress levels? Also seemingly endless. With sleep deprivation, stress and the general admin of being a functioning adult all competing for the blame, how can I work out which is contributing the most?

Sleep scientist Sophie Bostock explains that the effects of sleep loss can show up in surprisingly everyday ways: “We become more easily distracted, our reactions slow down, and everyday tasks require more effort. Sleep loss can also make us more emotionally reactive and less motivated.” So, with my energy diary full of afternoons when concentrating feels like wading through treacle, my first port of call before heading for my usual oat flat white or magnesium supplement is to check whether I'm getting enough sleep to begin with.

Bostock also points out, “we can become so accustomed to functioning below our best that we forget what feeling properly rested is like” - a rather uncomfortable home truth. “One of the warning signs,” she continues, “is when tiredness starts to feel normal.”

To work out whether sleep debt might be contributing to my fatigue, her advice is refreshingly unglamorous: try going to bed ten to fifteen minutes earlier a week, and see whether my mood, concentration or energy improves. If I have the opportunity, allowing myself the gift of sleeping without an alarm could offer further clues. Am I naturally sleeping longer? Does my energy improve after a few days?

But what if being tired isn’t the problem—but how we feel about it?

Psychotherapist for female leaders, Katie Williams, has an explanation for my need to fix my fatigue. A caveat: I think a few of us are about to feel very seen. She suggested the rather alien concept: what if it’s not the tiredness we can’t stand, but what we’ve come to believe it says about us? “Most of us are carrying far more than we can handle, and have been doing so for years,” she says. “ For high-achieving women, productivity can become so tangled up with self-worth that when our bodies can’t keep up, it feels like a threat.”

I’d say we all know this feeling far too well. It’s not just that I’m feeling exhausted; it’s that I’m exhausted and not getting everything done. I’m falling behind. I’m not keeping up. And apparently, another thing I need to control.

Research from 2012 backs this up. A longitudinal study of 2,121 working adults found that performance-based self-esteem was a strong predictor of burnout over time, with a stronger association among women than men. It begs the question: are we tired, or do we feel guilty about not doing more?.

“When we’re stressed and activated, we’ll look for solutions, something to ‘do’ or a way to fix the problem, rather than considering changing our way of being,” Williams says. Perhaps I’m not just trying to get my energy back. I’m trying to get back to being the version of myself I think I ought to be—minus the fatigue.

Beyond the Quick Fix: What Helped When I Stopped Trying to Outrun My Tiredness

Without my classic “fixes”, I turned to nutritionist Hannah Alderson and GP Dr Ravina Bhanot to ask what going back to basics looks like. No, we’re not talking about another self-improvement project, but a toolkit for tuning in to what my body needs, what’s genuinely helping, and when to simply leave my tiredness alone.

1. Get Curious Before Reaching for a Fix

“When does your energy dip? Are you dragging yourself through the morning on coffee alone, hitting a wall mid-afternoon or feeling inexplicably exhausted in the days before your period? Do you feel better after eating, moving or resting?”

Alderson suggests looking for clues in the rhythm of your day. Skipping meals, under-eating, or relying on caffeine to compensate for poor sleep can all contribute to feeling depleted. “The point isn’t to diagnose yourself from an energy diary, but to spot patterns before automatically reaching for another supplement.”

2. Eat Enough Before Adding More

Wellness culture loves a new superfood, but Alerson’s advice is disarmingly simple: “start by checking you’re eating enough.” Build meals around protein, fibre, healthy fats and carbohydrates (remember: carbs are not the enemy), rather than obsessing over one macronutrient or cutting out entire food groups.

3. Don’t Expect Electrolytes to Rescue a Bad Night’s Sleep

Maybe a “fix” I relied on a little too much. “Using electrolytes to fix your tiredness is another example of wellness culture turning something physiologically important into something we supposedly all need more of, " says Alderson.

She notes these are essentials for fluid balance and muscle and nerve function; however, “most people eating a varied diet and drinking enough will get what they need. They’re useful when you’ve lost significant fluid and salts through prolonged sweating, vomiting or diarrhoea—not as an automatic upgrade to your water bottle.”

4. Give Your Body the Cues It Needs

A personal favourite, and one I’ve been really leaning into this month, is a warm shower or bath before bed. Bhanot suggests that this simple ritual, ideally one to two hours before bedtime, may help us fall asleep faster and improve sleep quality. And there’s evidence to back her up: a 2019 review found that passive warming before bed was associated with faster sleep onset and better self-rated sleep quality.

A win-win situation if you ask me.

5. Stop Treating Every Dip in Energy as a Problem to Solve

Maybe the bigger lesson for me. The basics—eating enough, drinking water, getting the rest you need—matter. But the point isn’t to turn them into six more rules to follow perfectly.

It’s to pause when the familiar urge to fix kicks in and ask a different question: what might I actually need right now? Food? Water? A break? An early night? Or perhaps a change to the pace I'm expecting myself to maintain?

Hey, sometimes a practical adjustment helps. And sometimes tiredness is a signal that you’ve taken on too much. I went into this experiment wanting to, ironically, find the right “fix” for my tiredness in relinquishing control and ditching everything I held so dear in the fight to find something that alleviated my tiredness. But instead, I came out more confident in my ability to recognise when I was reaching for one of my “crutches” by default. Not every feeling needs optimising. So, without further ado, I’ve put down the quest for a quick fix and picked up a little curiosity instead.

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