Does ivory even suit me?
You’ve never done it before and hopefully you’ll never have to do it again. But when it comes to wedding dresses, everyone fails to tell you that the struggle to find the perfect one can be oh so real.
Here are eight thoughts that are totally normal to have during the process…
‘Does ivory even suit me?’
And what actually is the difference between pearl, off-white and just plain regular cream?
‘That sales assistant is a dick…’
She’s snooty, she’s trying to up your budget, and she’s making all the wrong noises when yanking you into that corset. You always wear a size 12, and she better know it.
‘This is nothing like my Pinterest.’
That’s because you pinned 1,000 different images onto your big *Wedding Day* board and had so much fun doing it that you forgot to research where to buy any of it IRL. Easily done.
‘Man, I look good in a fishtail / flapper / meringue gown.’
Because whatever dress silhouette you’d thought you wanted, you can bet it’s the opposite that suits your shape best.
‘Wow, I look stupid in a veil…’
That’s because you’re in the middle of Westfield on a Saturday afternoon and there’s a screaming child in the doorway trying to put sticky hands on the demi-couture display. This look is all about the context.
‘Why isn’t this more like a movie?’
‘Why aren’t we all swilling champagne while onlookers gather to tell me how lovely I look? Why isn’t my mum even crying?’
‘I’m starving / sleepy/ mentally exhausted…’
These dresses are heavier than all of your other clothes combined and you’re putting them on and taking them off at an alarming speed. Forget the pre-wedding diet, this is your workout.
Upon trying on dress number 24…
‘I’m a failure. My friends / bridesmaids / own mother are so bored right now and totally hate me.’ Spoiler; all will be forgiven when you finally find The One and you’ll be looking back and LOL-ing in Costa before you know it.