They planned to only get married once gay marriage was made legal in the US
Lena Dunham has written an essay explaining what’s going on with that possibly-upcoming wedding.
Well, what’s happening is that it’s not actually happening now.
Lena and her long-term partner Jack Antonoff from the band fun. had stated that they weren’t going to get married until gay marriage was legalised in the US.
Backstage at the 2013 Golden Globes Lena said: “I am not engaged. I don’t want to get married until all gay people can get married.”
With the Supreme Court finally ruling gay marriage as legal last month, Lena and Jack have faced of pressure from, er, only the entire world on tying the knot.
Including Lena’s yoga teacher, “with whom I had apparently discussed my marriage conundrum while deep in a back bend”.
At the time that gay marriage was made legal, Lena tweeted Jack, saying:
In response to the questions and pressure from outsiders on the deeply personal decision, Lena’s wrote an essay in the New Yorker explaining her reasons for postponing an engagement or a wedding.
She wrote that she had always dreamed of a wedding, and revealed a drawing of her dream wedding dress that she’d done as a “weird girl” teenager, complete with ripped lace, satin boots and wishes for the White Stripes to play on the day (we’ll have the White Stripes at our wedding, too, please).
She also reveals that she wants to wear her Aunt Bonnie’s dress when she does get hitched – and says that Jack’s commitment to equal rights for all was one of his major pulls for her.
“His belief in, and insistence on, true equality for L.G.B.T.Q. citizens was no small reason why I fell in love with him.
“It somehow became understood, between us, that we wouldn’t even consider marrying until every American had the same right,” she continues. “And I said it proudly whenever I had the chance, with the grandiosity and intimations of sacrifice you hear from certain lesser vegans.”
So, why didn’t Lena and Jack jump to it once gay marriage was legalised?
Lena admits she’s now realised that marriage possibly isn’t as important to Jack as it is to her as a woman who’s life has been “shaped by a desire for, or a rejection of, a fluffy white dress”.
Lena also confesses that Jack just isn’t bothered about marriage at the moment and that it was a “relief” for him when they agreed to put the idea to one side for now.
She even questions whether she was “stalling” the idea of marriage by refusing to go through with it until gay marriage was made legal.
Though her article has been criticised as back peddling on her original intent by some, it seems to be a very honest explanation of a situation that many couples find themselves in. Just when is the right time, and why should you have to justify that?
Lena explains that having had a heart-to-heart with her boyfriend, they’re now happy to put marriage on the back burner – but that it’s still a definite possibility one day.
“I have the professional luxury of wearing at least three fluffy dresses a year. One of them could be white if I wanted it to be. So, what gives?” she writes.
“I like being a guest, for now. Aunt Bonnie, keep the dress in the box. But don’t throw it away.”
We admire your honesty, Lena.