Jenny Slate on chemistry reads, working with her idols and building trust on set

Jenny Slate is a comedic powerhouse, lighting up our screens from her run in Saturday Night Live to her acclaimed stand-up performances. And with acting credits including It Ends With Us and Gifted, to her award-winning portrayal in Obvious Child, her star is only rising.

This season, she’s returning to the spotlight in Disney+ series Dying for Sex - and the defining role will almost certainly change her career. The inspiring limited series is based on the story of the late Molly Kochan, a woman whose terminal cancer diagnosis prompted her to leave an unhappy marriage to explore her sexuality. But at its heart, Dying for Sex is a love letter to female friendship, with Kochan (played by Michelle Williams) choosing to die next to the love of her life, her best friend Nikki (Jenny Slate).

With Elizabeth Meriwether and Kim Rosenstock’s script delivering equal parts comedy and tragedy, Slate and Williams give heartbreaking yet hilarious performances in a series that truly breaks new ground. I catch up with the 43-year-old actress ahead of Dying for Sex’s highly-anticipated release, and I’m still reeling. Within minutes, it becomes clear that Slate feels the same way, describing the project as "an experience of real fulfilment", and one that she hopes could "open a door to the type of performances that [she’s] really been yearning to do."

What drew you to Dying for Sex?

There are so many different levels of feeling - so many different experiences woven into one story. Liz Meriwether and Kim Rosenstock’s script was absolutely incredible. And the fact that Michelle Williams was going to do this - she’s one of my favourite actors and working with her was something I really wanted. It was just that feeling of, "This is what I’ve been waiting for, this is what I’ve been asking for, and I’m going to really try to grab for this with everything I have."

It’s the kind of work that demands that you really throw your full trust into the project, and so it’s not just an acting experience, it’s a life experience. When I read the scripts and heard who was involved, I suspected that it could be an experience of real fulfilment.

You and Michelle Williams have such fantastic chemistry - what was it like working together?

We had really only crossed paths before, and I’m such a big fan that part of me going into this job was continually whispering to myself to not be weird and stare at her. She is so extraordinary in every way, and it really was a dream come true to work with her.

Do you have any memorable on-set moments?

I was just thinking yesterday about the scene where she says in an Irish accent that her vagina is “a wee bit dry”. And my memory from that day is that we could not shoot that scene because we were laughing so hard. I don’t like ruining a take by laughing because we’re all on a clock, but those moments of just true bubbling silliness and joy are undeniable. And they’re memories that I hope I will still remember when I’m very, very old.

It’s such raw and vulnerable acting - I imagine there has to be a lot of trust between you.

It is all about trust. If you’re filming a scene where you’re trying to shove yourself into a car because you’re running away from someone, and then next you’re doing a scene where a character is asking, "Will you die with me? Will you be my companion for the rest of my life while I head towards my death?" The one thing you need to have is trust - that’s it.

If you don’t have trust, it’s really hard to step into all of those different areas. On Dying for Sex, we had that really swift and sturdily developed trust, and for me that is everything. It’s maybe my favourite thing about being an actor - having to trust people really quickly. I don’t think most of us let ourselves do that in our daily lives and I love the idea that being an actor means opening yourself up to the idea that trust is real, powerful and can happen very quickly.

This show has such powerhouse women at its helm - Liz Meriwether, Kim Rosenstock and Shannon Murphy to name a few. How much does that kind of presence benefit a set?

The benefits are endless when the people are endlessly talented. But everyone was also so kind. I went in for a chemistry read to see how Michelle and I would be together, and I was so nervous. We had to behave as though we were best friends going through the most heightened situations people can go through... but it was remarkable how kind everyone was to each other, and to me. I was astounded. I really think one of the lovely things about that day and that set was that we were very kind to each other, and it made the work all that more enjoyable.

People are calling the show a love letter to female friendship - was that something that you wanted to celebrate?

I wanted to celebrate what it is like to care for someone that you love deeply. And if that person loves you they understand the enormity of that care. It’s an honour, it can be a sacrifice, and it is often one of the most beautiful things that a person will go through. I just really wanted to step into that because it is so complex and I don’t think it’s often portrayed in its full complexity - the things that are funny or sensitive or frightening or ephemeral. The weird psychic connections that we all have - and the more bonded you are, the more those things can be amplified.

I wanted to show all that within this friendship. It’s been an experience that I’ve had in my life with people of all genders, people of all ages - I have it with my little daughter, but I’ve also had it with my grandfather when he was dying. And each time that experience of deep care is different. And each time it changes me and I take the sort of beautiful tone of that love from that care giving experience, and I just sort of add it to the other beauties in my life.

What is your advice for nurturing friendships over time?

The number one thing for me is to be a good listener - not just a good listener for your friend, but you also really need to listen to yourself. You need to hear what you’re saying, you need to listen to what you really want and what your true desires are. Because your closest friends are the ones that will get onboard to help you get to where you need to be as a person. I really do think friendship is so much about listening.

What message do you hope people will take from the show?

I think I would take a page out of the real Nikki’s book and say that the show shows that life is worth living. That it is finite and it is worth the time that we have, whether it is brief or prolonged, to really get to the centre of what makes a person feel powerful and pleased and loved and loving and alive.

Dying For Sex will premiere on Disney+ on 4 April.