Marie Claire's Deputy Editor agrees with Kim Kardashian - being pregnant is rubbish
Kim Kardashian has hit the headlines with some refreshingly candid comments about how much she hates being pregnant, saying most recently on her website that she’s ‘fat as f**k’, craving BBQ crisps and she’s also suffering from ‘cankles’.
Back in September she also described the whole experience as a ‘mindf**k’ – and we love that tells it how it is.
While we’re all used to hearing about that wonderful pregnancy “glow” and how it’s the most magical time of your life, in reality not every woman enjoys growing an entire human being in their womb and carting it around with them for nine months.
In fact, our Deputy Editor Miranda McMinn can think of nine reasons why being pregnant actually sucks:
I’m with Kim. Yes, everyone knows that you get a cute baby at the end and that makes it all worthwhile but here’s the reasons why pregnancy sucks while you’re waiting (and I’ve done it three times so I know):
1. At first it’s great because you get a go having enormous knockers without having to commit – but then they don’t stop growing. It’s like James and the Giant Peach(es) inside your bra. Ouchy.
2. You’re obviously not allowed to swill back booze and chug down fags in what may have been your usual style. But you also go off other life enhancing substances such as tea. TEA. I cried.
3. On the upside, morning sickness can only be alleviated by eating cheese on toast literally (and I use the word literally) every waking minute. On the downside, I put on four and a half stone the first time and only half a stone was baby.
4. On the subject of bras, you have to buy a new one every three weeks each of which is so unattractive you are never going to want to wear it again and get this: they’re not allowed to be underwired! So the one time in your life you’ve really got the goods you can’t even display them in the shop window to optimum effect.
5. On the one hand your bump acts as a useful shelf to catch crumbs and other food spillage, it’s true, but this can attract the attention of passing seagulls.
6. You get an outy belly button which EVERYONE thinks is hilarious to touch. When they do it actually makes you gag.
7. You get a brown line from your belly button to your pantage area. That is not in itself bad but is yet another example of your body being just weird.
8. There are a variety of extra side effects that no one tells you about. I suffered from restless leg syndrome which means you can’t sleep for the entire pregnancy because you’re twitching like an electrocuted frog all bloody night. Another woman I know got a syndrome where your saliva glands go into overdrive and didn’t stop dribbling for the whole 9 months – seriously, she had to go round with a cup.
9. When it comes out it hurts. Like, REALLY hurts. You have to have stitches in your actual fanny. And your bump doesn’t go down for AGES so everyone keeps congratulating you for getting pregnant again so soon.
So yeah… I’m with Kim on this one, for sure.
Did you enjoy being pregnant? Are you terrified at the prospect of being a human incubator?