‘How dare people shame Chrissy Teigen and John Legend for publicly mourning the loss of their baby’

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  • Features Editor Jenny Proudfoot has never been more disappointed in the Internet

    Chrissy Teigen and John Legend announced the tragic news yesterday that they had lost their third baby ‘about halfway through pregnancy’ after complications.

    Chrissy was hospitalised on Sunday night due to bleeding, and the following Wednesday, the couple confirmed that their son, who was reported to be 20-24 weeks, had died, releasing a series of black and white photographs of the heartbreaking day.

    While reading Chrissy and John’s brave words and seeing their intimate photographs, my heart broke for them. After scrolling through the comments however, my sadness turned to rage as I saw the awful truth that trollers had come out in force to mock them for publicly grieving.

    I have never been more disappointed in the internet.

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    We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . . We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital.  But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack.  So he will always be Jack to us.  Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever. . . To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive.  We will always love you. . . Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers.  We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you. . . We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience.  But everyday can’t be full of sunshine.  On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.

    A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

    ‘We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,’ Chrissy posted to her social media platforms, alongside the photographs. ‘We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.’

    The post continues: ‘We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever.

    ‘To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you.

    ‘Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you,’ Chrissy continued. ‘We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.’

    Chrissy Teigen and John Legend’s statement is very brave, and has given people experiencing similar losses comfort, opening conversations around miscarriage and still born births – painful conversations that need to be had to remove stigma and bring support.

    While a lot of followers came out in force to send love, support and share their own stories, a loud minority of the internet attacked them for grieving publicly, judging Chrissy’s use of social media so close to the tragedy and accusing it of being a publicity stunt.

    While outnumbered by the supportive messages, these bullies were loud, and I join many people across the world in being shocked, offended and disappointed by them.

    People too often forget that behind social media accounts are very real people who are dealing with very real emotions. And if you wouldn’t say such disrespectful things to their faces in the midst of such tragedy, don’t write it online either.

    Everyone is entitled to grieve however they like, and while you might not want to document your grief, that doesn’t mean that others’ can’t. Everyone grieves in their own way and before you judge Chrissy’s decision to be so open, remember that if you had 32 million followers, you too might want to start an important conversation and bring support to others in your moment of pain.

    It’s no wonder we’re not having important conversations if the people who speak out are treated this way.

    Chrissy and John, thank you for your bravery and I am so sorry that the internet failed you.

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