At £42.35 for 55g, this sex dust from Gwyneth Paltrow's breakfast smoothie better bloody work
Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle site Goop has been a constant source of visionary lifestyle advice since its conception in 2008, and just yesterday the actress-cum-physical-spiritual-guru appeared to reach the highest heights of er, spirituality, when she posted a recipe for her ‘Moon Dust breakfast smoothie’ which contains dust from the moon.
Ok, so the dust isn’t actually from space, but it certainly sounds other-worldly – and the price tag sure is. Gwyneth recommends that the smoothies should be made with ‘one teaspoon moon dust of choice’ and goes on to list her favourites, which are all available to buy directly on her site and include: ‘Action Dust to soothe overworked muscles’ (£38.81 for 55g), ‘Beauty Dust for a glowy complexion and healthy hair’ (£45.90 for 55g), ‘Brain Dust to combat mental fogginess’ (£38.81 for 55g), ‘Goodnight Dust for when sleep has been evasive’ (£38.81 for 55g), ‘Sex Dust, for, you know’ (£42.35 for 55g) and ‘Spirit Dust to get that extra-sensory perception going’ (£45.93 for 55g).
This is in addition to the rest of her smoothie ingredients – which starts off pretty normal (one cup of almond milk and one teaspoon of coconut oil etc) before going on to sound like slightly more like a Spike Milligan poem (ashwagandha, ho shou wu, and cordyceps, anyone?)
Checking out the ingredient list for Gwynnie’s sex dust we can see that it contains: ‘Ho Shou Wu, Cistanche, Cacao, Shilajit, Maca, Epimedium, Schisandra, Stevia’, so judging from two of the ingredients we actually recognise (stevia and cacao, ofc) it might taste a bit like a chocolate milkshake. Mind you, upon closer inspection we’ve discovered that Ho Shou Wu is a Chinese herb, Cistanche is a pink flower, Shilajit is a black, tar-like mineral, and maca is a root from the radish family, so maybe it’s not actually that delicious…
We’re also wondering what these mythical ingredients do to our bodies first thing in the morning – is it really appropriate to be revving our sexual engines with the aphrodisiac dust right before work? And would we turn into ethereal, randy aliens if we combined part spirit dust, part sex dust in our smoothie?
Either way, at approximately £7 a glass and £155 for all the ingredients, unless we win the lottery, we’re never going to know if this stuff works or not. Luckily we can live vicariously through Gwynneth then…