I literally cannot wait to use these beauty products this summer…

There are so many things to like about this: the smell (it's like coconut ice cream), the texture (like the most sumptuous lip balm), the finish (gives you glorious lit-from-within glow) and the mirror (it's bloody massive). Round of applause Laura Mercier.

One of the world's most popular mascaras is now waterproof. You lashes needn't suffer when you're swimming honeys.

This summer, Nars have launched an entire collection inspired by their bestselling blusher, Orgasm. This shimmery cream palette can be used anywhere on the body - lips, cheeks, eyes, décolletage, use it to highlight your abs if you so wish. I plan on covering my entire body with each shade. Roll on the orgasms.

Who wouldn't want iridescent hair that looks like a pearl necklace? Admittedly, it's only really super white blonde that can enjoy this thrill, but I for one can't wait to try it out before Glastonbury.

Until I get my ass on to a beach, it's likely that I'm going to look a little pale. Which is why this product is right up my street. When you first take the lid off, it looks really, really dark, but you only need a tiny amount. And when I say tiny amount, I mean it. You'll know straight away if you've used too much. It makes you look like you've already been away for a week.

Right, I am super duper pale, so it's highly unlikely that I need anything that calls itself 'Ultra Dark', but bugger it I'm going to try it. I love Isle of Paradise tanning products because they work so well and don't leave streaks. Let's see what happens...

I don't plan on crying too much this summer, however I do have two weddings (and I'm a sucker for a heartfelt speech) so I want an eyeliner that won't budge, no matter how much I blub. Luckily, Tom Ford knows we're all cry babies and has designed a range that's sweat, water and tear resistant. Boom.

This is a bloody clever product. Not only is it a great BB cream that evens out the complexion, covering any nasty red parts, but it's also really water resistant and quick drying. It uses this really smart polymer, which disperses sweat on the surface of the skin, making it evaporate faster. I mean I don't plan on doing any sport, but I like that I have the option.

I love the traditional Bareminerals Complexion Rescue and use it religiously, but I was sceptical about this stick, as my experience with similar formulas in the past hasn't been great. I always find them really drying. However, I couldn't have been more wrong. This stick is super hydrating and is the perfect handbag essential when I need a 4pm pick-me-up.

Oh my god I am going to look so bloody luminous and healthy after using this oil. It's got vitamin E in so will keep dry skin at bay, but it's the shimmer that makes you look so damn good.

I live for a beachy wave. Those undone-looking tresses are the look I go for every single day. I find that sea-salt sprays make my hair a little crunchy, so imagine my joy when I discovered that this beauty goes on to dry hair with the softest of textures. It separates the hair nicely and nails that mermaid vibe.

I could tall until the cows come home about how incredible this sun cream smells - I feel like I won't need to wear a perfume all summer. However, what I really need to tell you about is how this wonderful brand have made their new suncare range reef-safe. They've refused to include two ingredients that are the most threatening to marine life and have spent years researching alternatives. I salute you Caudalie.