These send shivers down our spines
Stop the world: we want to get off. A clip-in man bun - there's four words we thought we'd never have to type - is available for purchase. On planet earth.
For the man who lost patience many months ago trying to grow his hair past his ear-cuff and under-cut, or for the concerned-hipster-girlfriend who's noticed male pattern baldness caused by her boyfriend's top knot au naturel. This one's for you.
Groupon is currently selling these miniature furry monstrosities in - blonde and brown might we add - for $9.99 a piece, apparently down from $65.34.
Although, despite sparking a relative amount of outrage on the internet, on closer inspection it would appear that Groupon have very much done this one for laughs… Read on.
For novices to man-bunnery, the description on the website reads: 'this attachable—and, equally important, detachable—man bun lets you blend in with your surroundings, putting it on when you smell fair-trade coffee or hear a banjo, and taking it off when someone utters the word bro.'
And it even comes with instructions about how to pull off the look, although, we think it's pretty obvious that your social prospects are taking a pretty huge nose-dive if you commit yourself to pinning one of these to your head:
'How To Wear It:
Comb your hair back toward the crown of your head, in a similar motion to lacquering a reclaimed-wood coffee table
Attach the man bun to your natural hair the way the lay public attached itself to Arcade Fire
Use bobby pins to secure the man bun, decide bobby pins are too mainstream, use antique paper clips instead.'
Source: Groupon.com
Ok, so at least the wording is all very tongue-in-cheek, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that someone dreamt up this idea, and that we're looking at it right now. Because now we've seen it we can't un-see it.
We've all noticed the surge in popularity of male top knots over the past couple of years (take a look here for some excellent pictures of Hot Men With Man Buns, for a moment) and the term 'man bun' was Google's most searched beauty term of 2015 - we kid you not.
Sported by A-list men such as Brad Pitt, Jared Leto and Leonardo DiCaprio recently, the ubiquitous hairstyle seems to show little sign of fading away but these hamster-like hair pieces need to be burnt, and fast.
Just imagine the earth-shattering social implications of it falling off on a date.