11 Times Lena Dunham Made Us (Almost) Pee Our Pants

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  • Lena Dunham makes us laugh pretty much every time she opens her mouth. Here's our pick of her funniest, most outrageous quotes...

    “Every time I start feeling sexy I trip.”

    “I quit acting when I was 11 because I was cast as a bouncing ball in Alice in Wonderland, and I felt slighted and wounded.”

    “I am anti-pants.”

    “Okay, ‘Best Party Ever’ – to me, that’s like saying ‘Best Gym Ever’ or ‘Best Nature Documentary Ever,’ like, how good can it really be?”

    “Here’s what I have to say about being married: someday you will look at him, hating him with every fibre of your being, wishing that he would die the most violent death possible. It will pass.”

    “Once, my little sister was walking down the street in her thick black glasses, and a homeless man muttered, “Talk nerdy to me.”

    “Barbie’s disfigured. It’s fine to play with her just as long as you keep that in mind.”

    “Randy is my gynecologist. I have had a number of gynecologists over the years, all talented in their own ways, but Randy is the best. He is an older Jewish man who, before deciding to inspect ladies down there for a living, played for the Mets. He still has the can-do determination of a pitcher on an underdog team and, to my mind, that is exactly the kind of man you want delivering your babies or rooting around in your vagina.”

    “My dad finds Twitter just infinitely unrelatable. He’s like, ‘Why would I want to tell anybody what I had for a snack, it’s private?!’ And I’m like, ‘Why would you even have a snack if you didn’t tell anybody? Why bother eating?'” 

    “My biggest nightmare is that I do something where [HBO would] be like, ‘That’s why you don’t give shows to 25-year-old girls.’ I’m always afraid that I’m being unprofessional, yet I continue to sign all my e-mails, ‘xoxo.'”

    “Weak eyebrows = weak presentation. It’s like having a bad handshake but it’s worse because it’s right on your face”.

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