A letter from a group of 'friends' to a new mother asking her to stop posting so many photos of her baby on Facebook has gone viral.
A letter from a group of ‘friends’ to a new mother asking her to stop posting so many photos of her baby on Facebook has gone viral.
Jade Ruthven from Perth, Australia, received the note from a group of anonymous Facebook friends telling her they were sick and tired of her updating her profile with info about baby girl Addison and that they couldn’t wait for her to go back to work so she wouldn’t have as much time to go on Facebook.
So outraged by the letter, Jade sent it to Australian comedian and writer Em Rusciano who then posted it on Twitter.
We’ve been talking about it all morning in the Marie Claire office, but what do you think?
Take a look below at what some of the MC staff think and then let us know your verdict.
‘Surely the moral of this tale is to go easier on the CAPSLOCK? The tone of the letter these women have sent to their ‘friend’ is nasty, I agree, but in the depths of their poorly-worded rant, I think they might just have a point. When someone posts on Facebook six times a day, updating the world on their wedding ideas, baby’s hourly progress, or just how many peas they ate for dinner as part of their new ‘clean living’ plan (true story) it does all get a bit much. We’re all guilty of peacocking online now and again (what’s the point of these platforms if not to validate one’s holiday photos with OMG comments from friends, after all?) but everything in moderation, right? Top tip, though, if someone’s addiction to FB is becoming unbearable, there are plenty of ways to ‘mute’ those virtual updates, without ruining your friendship in real life.’ Caroline Leaper, Digital Junior Editor
‘I wouldn’t be surprised if this was entirely made up – it’s so unnecessarily, viciously nasty! I can’t believe a mother would actually write that (to another new mother), but perhaps I’m being naïve. It’s one thing for an individual to be spiteful, but to speak on behalf of ‘everyone’, who the hell does she think she is? These women are not friends, they are bullies, plain and simple. Everyone finds various Facebook updates annoying. People assume those who post constantly on Facebook (be it their baby, house, or wedding et al) are annoying because they’re smug, but I think a lot of it stems from insecurity and their need for validation. Have some compassion for christ’s sake. If you find something annoying, hide it from your news feed (it’s a wonderful tool, that) and get over it. It’s absolutely no excuse for bullying.’ Martha Hayes, Entertainment Editor
‘We all know that Facebook was pretty much invented for babies, engagement rings and exotic holidays. And yes, of course it gets irritating when you have a news feed full of updates on ‘bubba’s first steps’, the contents of his/ her’s nappy and other things usually best reserved for proud parents alone (and not their 150+ ‘friends’) But this kind of smug life-sharing is no different to the career high-flier bragging about their latest promotion, or the marathon runner logging how far they’ve run using the Nike + app, or yet another bikini beach selfie. Truth is, Facebook has turned us all into a bunch of narcissists and you either play along or you just ignore it. Why on earth anyone would go to the effort to write such a venomous letter to their supposed friend about what is pretty typical Facebook behaviour is, frankly, a mystery. She could have saved a lot of trouble by just, y’know, clicking the ‘hide’ option or logging off Facebook altogether.’ Tracy Ramsden, Acting Features Director
We were inundated with comments about this letter. Some of you agreed with the writers of the note, saying that you too get irritated with people using Facebook as a personal diary, but the majority found the letter downright nasty. Here are just a few of your responses:
’I agree with this. Some people use Facebook as a diary. Very annoying.’ Maria
’I think it’s an extremely disproportionate reaction to write an anonymous letter and shove it through someone’s door! All over baby posts on Facebook. It’s bullying and borderline illegal to harass someone like that, when all you need to do is unfollow their Facebook page.’ Mairi-Christine
’I hope this mum wasn’t suffering from any kind of post-natal depression, and was using Facebook to get herself through each day. If she was, these narrow-minded selfish writers may have just compounded the issue; why they couldn’t just have been happy for her and moved on is beyond my understanding.’ Frances
’I agree with the sentiment of the letter. It’s anonymous, so they were just calling her out for being boring. Perhaps it will make her realise that she is bored and should do something else besides continually exploit her child’s privacy on Facebook. It is not mean – they do say they love the child and all their children. I just don’t get people who say it is bullying.’ Alison
'”Anonymous” because clearly they’re ashamed of what they’ve said. If you can’t put your name on something, that says more than the words you’ve spoken. And, frankly, what’s said about another person usually says more about the speaker than the person spoken about. Good job gals, way to be a great group of friends.’ Amy
‘I agree with Martha at Marie Claire. Not sure it’s real, but it’s definitely bullying. And, with all bullies, I’m wondering what’s the deeper demons are. Who needs that kind of friend? Wow!’ Ashley
’The author sounds jealous, sour and spiteful. Being a new mum is challenging and exciting. This new mum is clearly loving her child and wanting to share. Maybe on a deeper level reaching out to others for confirmation that “yes, your kids looks happy, healthy and your doing it right!” Maybe she is seeking support. As a new mum I tried to be a super-dooper new mum and do and show the world that I was 100 per cent on my game and in control, but I was not and suffering. If this is the case, what a way to help someone along into post natal depression.’ Siobhan
’I think some people use their Facebook as a personal diary, I do, I don’t really want to tell everyone random things about my kids, I just want to put in an entry and remember it by looking back on it later on. Children grow so fast and those who’ve been there know, when they are little, it’s mostly a blur! Charlotte
’If you find some one irritating enough to go on a cruel anonymous tirade, why are you friends? Delete the person, grow a pair and be honest with yourself. If you cared at all about this person you’d be happy for her. This friendship was not a friendship long before baby came along. Downsize your list and do her a favour, delete her and mind your own boring business.’ Tammy