Do you know your buzzcuts from your Deirdre Barlow specs? Take our LOL-filled quiz to see how SS16 you really are...
The winds, they might be a-blowing. And yes, the temperature is still a-dropping – but, fashion fans, that’s no excuse. That’s right, people. Spring/Summer trends are already hitting shops, Instagram, you name it…
So put aside those best-ginseng-juice-for-Nutribullet recipes for a moment. What you should really be asking yourself is…
How SS16 Are You? Read on to find out with our LOL-packed quiz
1. ‘The new Gucci’. What does that phrase mean to you? a) Um. Coleen Rooney’s latest handbag purchase, seen in slightly blurry pap pics on the Daily Mail sidebar of shame? b) Isn’t it quite hot now? New designer maybe? c) The vintage-inspired vision of new creative director Alessandro Michele and his surprise turnaround of the brand into fashion’s most talked-about label. Who doesn’t know that?!
2. Underwear is… a) Essential. My mum’s words about being run over by a bus still haunt me now. b) Preferably bought for you by someone else and preferably attached to a pink silk Agent Provocateur label. c) The new outerwear. Have you seen Alexander Wang’s last show for Balenciaga (below)? There are no vintage silk slips left on Ebay. And believe me, I’ve combed.
3. Silver vs Gold. Discuss a) Gold is obviously worth more. But silver comes in handy for those annoying shops that still don’t do contactless. b) I always feel like gold makes me look like a Christmas tree. So on that basis, silver every time. I don’t really do metallics much, to be honest. Hard to pull off. c) If someone was to run up and put a gold sequinned dress over my head, I would literally vomit. It is so last year I can’t even look at my own wedding ring. Silver mirrored shards a la Loewe - as seen here - are the only way.
4. Pope, Marie and Bishop are all… a) Characters in the BBC’s latest period drama? b) I literally have no idea. I think I need a coffee c) Sleeves. You are nothing without an extreme sleeve for spring. Erdem’s (below) were insane. They are already actually driving me insane, what with the coat situation – but I’m trialling some gilets to solve it.
5. ‘Vetements’ are… a) ‘Clothes’. In French. My A-levels did come in useful after all. b) I think I’ve heard of this one, do they do jeans? c) A Paris design collective who are currently THE HOTTEST THING ever. And their leader Demna Gvasalia (below at the SS16 show) is the new creative director at Balenciaga. So even hotter now.
6. ‘Gap Year Chic’ – does it exist? a) I only owned a North Face anorak and a pair of flip-flops when I went to Thailand to help at that orphanage. It didn’t even look good at the time. b) I suppose friendship bracelets are quite pretty. But I’m not sure how that’s really a look c) Um, hello? Have you actually been to any fashion shows recently? Burberry? Tommy Hilfiger? I’m corn-rowing my hair as we speak. It really sets off my embroidered cheesecloth Isabel Marant blouse.
Isabel Marant SS16, below
7. Tiaras are… a) What the Queen wears on state occasions. They do look heavy though, bless her b) Nice if you’re getting married. And if you’re into that Vera Wang-princess vibe. c) The only headgear for spring. Courtney Love circa the Hole era – she was a style icon in so many ways. Just ask Saint Laurent's Hedi Slimane
Saint Laurent SS16, below
8. Your memories of Nineties fashion are… a) Neither here nor there. I’m pretty sure I just wore some second-hand Levi’s from Camden market till 2000 b) Traumatic. I twisted my ankle on my Spice Girl platform trainers and sometimes I still think I can catch a glimpse of 'henna red' when my hair catches the light c) Enough to make me well up. Kate Moss in Corinne Day’s first shoots! The Calvin ads! Carolyn Bessette Kennedy’s wedding dress! It was an epic, epic fashion era that formed the basis for our modern minimalism obsession
Alexander Wang SS16, below
9. Answer ‘Hot’ or ‘Not’ to the following:
- Deirdre Barlow glasses
- Jacqemus
- Fingerless net gloves
- Mules
- Hiking sandals
(Trick question. They are all, without exception, unquestionably hot – love em or not)
Chanel SS16, below
10. Buzzcuts – your view? a) My brother had one when he was 16 by accident. He never forgave that hairdresser. And he kept getting asked when he was going on parade. b) The nearest I’ve ever got to short hair is the time I asked for ‘an inch off’ and the stylist got carried away. I couldn’t look in the mirror for a month – my boyfriend doesn’t call me ‘Rapunzel’ for nothing. c) Maintenance is an issue. I’ve had to trim mine every single week since I unveiled it back in September. Ruth Bell (below) might think she started that trend, but she’d be wrong
ANSWERS If you’re mostly…
a) ‘Fashion’ – it’s not just a song by the late, great David Bowie, you know. Get a copy of Marie Claire Runway and familiarise yourself with the concept of SS16 tout de suite.
b) For you, trends may come and go, but style is eternal. A fair view. But you could still benefit from a bell sleeve, a cut-away top, a pair of platform hiking sandals and a lace-trimmed slip in your life. Go on, you know you want to.
c) Are you actually me? You’re so SS16 it hurts. You’re the kind of gal who got your hands on those Gucci snake-heel mules before they even hit the shelves. Respect.