Can someone check if poor Don Cheadle's recovered yet?
If you haven’t watched Marvel’s new Avengers: Infinity War yet, turn back now because we’re about to ruin it. We’ll give those poor unfortunate souls a couple of seconds to leave the rest of us alone and click back out again. We’ll even throw in a fun, joyful picture of the Avengers’ happier times below in case you accidentally scroll down too far to the next paragraph.
Here’s Avengers: Infinity War‘s biggest snacks Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans as innocent babies standing in the wreckage of New York.
Here’s Chadwick Boseman and Michael B. Jordan doing the least, but serving the most in Black Panther.
And here’s a full cast photo of the gang, which has us feeling very fragile right now.
Now that it’s just us, we still can’t stop thinking about the most depressing Marvel movie ever. It had sad bubbles. Sweet rabbits. An Arrested Development reference. Tyrion Lannister. And the worst ten minutes in cinema history, where the Avengers lose and half of the characters we’ve grown to love dissolve helplessly into the wind. (I personally still see Peter Parker’s pleading face when I close my eyes.)
Well, Mark Ruffalo nearly ruined the horrible surprise for everybody last year in an interview with an incredibly tense, incredibly nervous Don Cheadle. The Good Morning America clip recorded at D23, a Disney fan convention, has quickly resurfaced on the internet as people have now realised that Ruffy came so close to giving the dramatic ending away.
Mark, who we now would never trust with any of our secrets, was in a jovial mood as he talked with the interviewer who pressed him and Don for spoilers. After Don warned him twice and told him ‘it’s your career’ in the space of just a minute, Mark jumped straight off the deep end with no sense of self preservation.
The interviewer said, ‘With Marvel, it never ends well. Somebody always bites it.’
Ruffalo responded, ‘Wait till you see this next one, ha-’
He quickly caught himself before he could finish his sentence – which we of course now know was ‘half of them die’. Don Cheadle understandably has a mini aneurysm in his chair and screams ‘D-Dude’ at him, before Mark recovers and corrects himself ‘everybody dies, not everybody’.
Mark then looks incredibly nervously over Don’s shoulder, presumably at Disney’s powers that be who would probably have been overseeing the interview. Don advises that they ‘reline’ the interview, while Mark nervously asks if he’s in trouble now.
The true beauty of the interview is Don Cheadle’s slow descent into pure terror.
It’s a total ride: the way his body is on total edge at the start of the interview (probably from Mark accidentally ruining the whole film all day), the way he relaxes once he thinks that they’re out of the woods and Mark isn’t going to get them both fired, then to the full on shocked silence and minor heart attack when Mark nearly says half.
Then finally, there’s the look of quiet fury and fear on Don’s face as he takes in the fact that he and Mark are about to be assassinated by Disney’s PR team. The man knows he and Mark are about to be dusted IRL.