'I was so raw that I didn’t anticipate.'
When Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow separated back in 2014, they set the internet on fire after coining the phrase ‘conscious uncoupling’ in their joint statement. While Gwyneth has since further elaborated on what that actually means, she laid her soul bare in a new interview and talked honestly about how the fallout from not just the divorce – but that specific term – really hurt her.
She revealed that she thought people thought she was trying to be superior in some way and imply that her divorce would ‘be better than theirs’, according to a recent New York Times profile.
Gwyneth said, ‘”I was really saying we’re in a lot of pain, we failed at this; we’re going to try and do it in a different way. But I was so raw that I didn’t anticipate. I think that was an instance where it really hit me that an insouciance with language from me is different than from somebody else.’
Gwyneth and Chris were first married at the end of 2003 and had two children over the course of their decade-long marriage, Apple and Moses. While they announced their separation in 2014 in a now infamous statement on Goop, it wasn’t until 2016 that their divorce was finalised.
At the time, they wrote, ‘We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate…We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.’
Gwyneth Paltrow also revealed that one of her biggest regrets is that she didn’t have another child, according to the Avengers: Infinity War actress.
Gwyneth said, ‘All I’m saying is it’s not nothing. I really wanted another [child].’
Since their separation, the former couple have been spotted spending lots of time together with their children as well as Gwyneth’s new fiance, Glee producer Brad Falchuk. While Chris and Gwyneth have made co-parenting look easy, apparently it wasn’t always that way and it was a learning curve for both of them.
She said, ‘Chris and I had days in the beginning when it was really hard. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to eat dinner with him, and he didn’t want to eat dinner with me. In our case, we’re really lucky because we see eye to eye. Chris and I are really lucky because we really agree fundamentally about how to raise the children. We have similar principles and values. I absolutely trust him … I’m just going to focus on what I love about Chris, and there’s so many things to love about him, and I still do that.’
Gwyneth also advised any couples planning on going down the same route: ‘Really, the question becomes how much of your ego are you willing to check at the door, and can you let go of spite – because if you can do those things, then you absolutely can have a friendly divorce. It’s just how much control do you have over your own behaviour, really, at the end of the day.’