Stop Everything And Pay Attention: Unicorns Are 100% Real

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  • In news that will blow your tiny little mind, our favourite fairytale creature isn't so mythological after all

    (Disclaimer: Not A Real Unicorn)


    Now, before we go any further, it’s worth mentioning that it’s entirely possible that one of the reasons why we’re writing this article is because we wanted an excuse to cover the website in pictures of unicorns.

    Of course, one of the other reasons is because this is a Real Grown Up Breaking News Story, About Anthropology and Mythology And Unicornology.

    But also, LOOK AT THIS:

    (Disclaimer: Not A Real Unicorn Either)

    Yep, in news that will transform the way we use our emoji-keyboards forever, scientists have uncovered remains of a ‘Siberian Unicorn’ – thought to have gone extinct 350,000 years ago – in Kazakhstan, and it’s only 29,000 years old.

    Officially called ‘Elasmotherium sibiricu’ (try saying that while riding through a field of daisies with a flower crown in your hair and a path of fairy dust behind you), the unicorn is thought to be a bit fatter and furrier than fairytales have let on in the past – but hey, it’s March. And it lived in Kazakhstan. Who doesn’t gain a stone or two and ditch the razor in a colder climate?! Plus Thelwell would be totally proud.

    Unfortunately, for the time being (/the foreseeable future), it looks like scientists are insisting upon referring to our favourite emoji as a breed of rhinoceros (rather than ‘magical-albeit-slightly-dangerous-pony-thing’).

    They’re still excited though. Mostly because they’re hoping that more research into the recently-uncovered fossils will help them to predict the impact of climate change on the environment – specifically looking at the way certain animals migrate from one country to another.

    We’re just hoping it means somebody stumbles across a piece of Pegasus next.

    (Disclaimer: Also Not A Unicorn. BUT – Totally Real Kitten.)

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