Kicking yourself for not getting Coachella 2015 tickets? Don't. For all the sunshine, blue skies and smiley celebs, Coachella definitely does not come without its cons. Read on to feel instantly reassured...
1. Pictured yourself chilling to Tame Impala with a JD and Coke in the sun? You won't be. Alll drinking must be done strictly at the designated bar areas, miles (only a slight exaggeration) away from the stages. On the upside, you won't get drenched in beer. But isn't that part of the fun? Security is also super tight so no sneaking in booze. Remember the days you used to take out the bag from a three litre wine box and shove it up your top outside a festival entrance? Those days are gone. Over. Finito. Sob.
2. You've seen the celeb turn out and you want a piece of the A-list action. Well, I want doesn't always get. R: Patz et al may well be there but they'll be partying into the wee hours in the VIP area and frankly there's more chance of you bumping into Melanie Griffith than FKA Twigs (as entertainment editor Martha Hayes did a few years back. Nice).
3. This sunshine fest positively oozes street style opps - but that's for the likes of Alexa, Rosie, Jourdan and co. You? You'll look and feel like a sweaty mess (sorry) in the 100 degree heat, change your outfit five times (and not because you have a new wardrobe to show off) and you won't have 24/7 access to a pool. Just a patch of grass and an ice bucket if you're lucky. Good times.
4. That 100 degree heat we mentioned? Sunscreen, a floppy hat and a paper fan will do little to comfort, nor dare we say, chill you out. It's so hot you probably won't catch a band before 7pm. OK, that's been known to happen at Glasto. But that's because of a hangover. And that's a life choice. Kind of.
5. Speaking of which, the hangovers, it goes without saying, are triple - even quadruple - the trouble in this heat. Booking yourself a hotel with good air con is a given. And an expensive one at that.
6. See this ferris wheel? You may end up on it more times than you'll be happy to admit when you get back to ol' Blighty. Because, if you want something other than scorching hot sun and bands, you'll probably struggle to find it. There's no pop-up theatre, art installations, literary talks or anything else we've come to expect from a UK festival so you may well, in your hungover state, feel a bit culturally let down. The ferris wheel, it is...
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