10 questions you need to ask your partner before you get married

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  • Hopefully you'll already know the answer to some of them

    Thinking of getting married? If the answer is yes, then along with madly Pinteresting floral arrangements and wedding place-setting ideas, you might want to think about asking your future spouse some of these questions. Though, full disclosure, they’re from a discussion on Reddit, not from people with any kind of therapy qualifications.

    1. Do you want kids?
    Best case scenario, you agree. But if you disagree? It’s one of the biggest compromises you can make. Whether you have children without wanting them, or stay child-free despite wanting kids, it’s going to be a massive compromise, and those kinds of sacrifices can take a toll on a relationship.

    2. What are your thoughts on housework?

    Spoiler alert: anyone who expects their partner to do more than half of the chores, is probably not going to be a great room-mate. And if you’re getting married then yes, you’re about to be husband and wife, but you’re also going to be room-mates for the rest of your natural born lives.

    3. How much debt do you have?

    Money is the most common thing for couples to argue over, so again, full disclosure is smart. Being with a spender when you’re a saver (or visa versa) doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed, but it’s important to recognise it.

    4. Who did you vote for in the last elections?

    Tricky one, that. Of course everyone has the right to the privacy of the ballot box, but if you’re a political person, then yes, it’s worth asking, or at least making your peace with the fact there will be debates at dinner time for the rest of your marriage.

    5. Do you want pets?
    Or rather, when you bring home a puppy, how annoyed will your other half be?

    6. Does your mum/dad/family actually like me?
    Research has proven again and again that the support of your friends and family are pretty essential for a successful relationship. If your partner’s family don’t like you, it’s important to understand why, whether there’s anything you can do about it, and ultimately how much it bothers you both.

    7. How do you feel about prenups?
    Again, it’s a sticky one. Is getting one admitting that the marriage could well fail, or is it just being pragmatic? As long as you’re on the same page, you’re all good.

    8. Who is going to take care of elderly parents?
    The important thing here is parity. You can’t plan to bring your own mum to live in the guest room if the idea of having your mother-in-law staying long-term makes you want to scream.

    9. What religion do you want our children to be?
    Again, might not seem like a bit deal when you’re young and free and single, and probably a bit lax about your religious convictions. But if you end up having children, it’s likely you’ll want to raise them in a similar way to how you were brought up, and your partner will probably feel the same way. If you were raised in different faiths, this might be tricky.

    10. Do you fart in bed?
    According to Reddit, this is an important question to ask. We’ll leave you to make your own mind up on that one, but one Reddit user made a strong case for it, writing, ‘A “no” instantly shows they are willing to lie to you as a default position and you should consider that.’

    Hmm. Jury’s still out on that one.

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