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The Eurovision Song Contest is as much of an assault on the eyes as it is on the ears, so let’s take a look back at some of the true fashion horrors from the contest over the years. And, as a reward, if you make it to the end of this feature, we’ve also included some of the (very few) style triumphs to help soothe your troubled peepers.
Jordan in 2005 for the United Kingdom
Katie Price, or Jordan as she was then known, never actually made it to Eurovision, losing out to Javine in the UK selection process, but we feel this ensemble deserves a mention. Dancing around in a hot pink latex bodysuit when five months pregnant? The girl’s got balls, we’ll give her that.
Nonstop in 2006 for Portugal
Bejewelled body suits, giant corsets and fur-trimmed ankle boots were the order of the day for this girl band. Destiny’s Child they are not.
Aleksandra and Konstantin in 2004 for Belarus
There’s a whole lot going on with this look. A whole lot of awful. The lovely Aleksandra only made it to the semi-finals, meaning that we never got to see what sort of fashion horror she had in mind had she reached the finals.
Martin Vučićin 2005 for Macedonia
Remember when matching your eye shadow to your outfit was all the rage? Here’s a stark reminder why it’s a beauty trend that needs to stay in the past.
Yohanna in 2009 for Iceland
We’d put good money on the fact that Yohanna rues the day she agreed to wear this dress, that seemed to have been inspired by one of nan’s toilet roll covers, on international television.
Scooch in 2007 for the United Kingdom
The only pop singer that has ever made a flight attendant’s uniform look sexy (and borderline good) was Britney Spears circa Toxic in 2004.
Aysel and Aras in 2009 for Azerbaijan
The designer tasked with making a showstopper for Azerbaijan’s 2009 entry must have run out of time when creating this metallic look. That can be the only explanation for having included just the one embellished lamé legging. Although that is just one of the several horrifying aspects of this ensemble.
Gisela in 2008 for Andorra
Poor Gisela looked like she was going into battle at the 2008 Eurovision Song Contest. We’re guessing it was a battle against fashion, taste and style.
We don’t know about you, but we need to give our eyes a break from these fashion nasties, so here are some of the more easy-on-the-eye Eurovision looks from contests gone by:
Massiel in 1968 for Spain
Monica Aspelund in 1977 for Finland
Anne-Karine Strøm in 1974 for Norway
The Eurovision Song Contest will be shown on BBC 1, Saturday 18 May at 8pm. You have been warned.