Blacklist These Buzzwords From Your Emails If You Want To Be Taken Seriously

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  • A survey has revealed the most irritaitng buzzwords of today (and yes, 'syngery' features)...

    Does your soul wither away a little more inside you each time you come across a well-meaning, well-placed, highly infuriating buzzword in your emails? Yeah, ours too.

    And now we can reveal exactly which words will result in the most shivers being sent up our spines, thanks to the results of a study by MD of PR company Hamish Thompson, who spent years gathering jargon from journalists and editors after asking them which annoying buzzwords they hated the most.

    Apparently ‘reach out’ is the phrase most likely to annoy thousands of writers across the UK and US, followed by the truly terrifying term ‘growthacking’ (that needs to disappear ASAP). ‘Synergy’ and ‘circle back’ (ergh) also feature.

    Below, we’ve deciphered the most irritating buzzwords so you can a) work out what the hell people are saying to you the next time you get a bad email, or b) change what you’re saying if you actually use these words, so people can understand you.

    1. ‘Reach out’

    As in: ‘I’m just reaching out to you about a strategic site-optimising plan that could promote enhanced audience growth’
    What it actually means: I want to talk to you. About something or other. 

    2. ‘Growthhacking’
    As in: ‘We need a holistic, all-encompassing growthacking plan to enhance productivity in all areas’
    What it actually means: We need to work harder, people. 

    3. ‘Onboarding’
    As in: ‘Our comprehensive onboarding process will efficiently integrate you into the company at all levels’
    What it actually means: You need to speak to somebody in HR, and fill out a few forms. 

    4. ‘Curate’

    As in: ‘I’m truly excited about the possibility of curating some engaging, inspiring content for you guys!’
    What it actually means: Can I write for you? For free? 

    5. ‘Circle back’

    As in: ‘Once we’ve standardised the SEO infrastructure we can circle back and optimise the content’
    What it actually means: I need a coffee – can we talk about this this afternoon?

    6. ‘Synergy’

    As in: Our planned company merger is set to produce expontential levels of corporate synergy!
    What it actually means: We reckon our teams will manage to get through the working day without fighting over the water cooler.

    7. ‘Empower’

    As in: ‘Our tailored content will empower your audience to be the best they can be’
    What it actually means: You may or may not like this, but we don’t care as long as somebody double taps the screen until that little heart appears over your Instagram post.

    8. ‘Solutions’
    As in: ‘We’ll tirelessly persist with our comprehensive research solutions to assist you in reaching your global targets’
    What it actually means: We may or may not be able to help you out. Come back later and check.

    9. ‘De-layer’
    As in: ‘Let’s de-layer this report!’
    What it actually means: We need to read every page of this. Not just the title.

    10. ‘Ecosystem’

    As in: ‘Our company ecosystem is thriving right now’
    What it actually means: Our work-culture is great. And we bought a plant. 

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