You end up falling in love
When I was going though puberty, the most enormous sweaty stains used to appear on my tops and I would be too embarrassed to put my hand up to answer questions in school. Teachers probably thought that I was either super shy or super thick. I’m incredibly intelligent, so it was properly the former. I used to take deodorant with me in my rucksack, along with a few spare tops (I would often get asked why I had changed for the third time. Kids are arseholes, aren’t they?), and tissues that I sometimes popped in between my clothes and armpits. It was once so bad that I sweated through a hoodie. A hoodie. It was torture. As if I wasn’t dealing with enough; I was trying to get boys’ attention – to talk to me, snog me or shag me (I wasn’t fussed) – all the while trying to do well in school. It was deeply unfair.
In my twenties my hormones calmed down and the amount of sweat that I produced decreased. But it hasn’t stopped. Oh no, I might not sweat through Gap hoodies anymore, but that doesn’t mean that I’m immune to the sweat stain on a tight top or a light blue shirt (why are they always the first to stain?!). Over the years I’ve gone through my share of deodorants and anti-antiperspirants; roll-ons, waxy sticks, sprays, aluminium-free and, most recently, natural. They’ve all done ok. But when a packet of Dandi patches landed on my desk that claimed to be the ‘ideal solution to the on-going unspoken and embarrassing problem of excessive sweating and underarm sweat marks’ I was game for the challenge.
What are underarm patches?
To put it in layman’s terms, Dandi patches like sanitary pads for your pits. The official wording is that they are ‘ thin and discreet, and absorb sweat and trap odour, preventing sweat marks and yellow staining.’ What I will add here is that they might be discreet, but they ain’t invisible. You can only wear them under sleeves. Don’t even think about putting them on with a strap top. People will think you’re nuts.
How do underarm patches work?
There are two parts – the beige patch and the clear adhesive surround. The patch absorbs the sweat, but doesn’t transfer the dampness onto you clothes, and the transparent bit sticks to your skin to prevents any smell getting out. It’s a little bit fiddly to begin with as they stress you shouldn’t touch the sticky bit. You’re also meant to steer clear of body cream and deodorant as that’ll stop the patches sticking. They suggest you’re closely shaved too, so make sure you’ve nailed your hair removal. One you’ve nailed that though, they’re on.
Do underarm patches work?
So, they take a bit of getting used to I’m not going to lie. You’re obviously not used to having something tucked under your armpits all day. But honestly, after a couple of hours you forget they’re there. I was worried that they might make a noise every time I moved my arms, but they were silent.
I first wore them on a normal day at work. I get the tube from home into the office and back again, so I definitely have more than enough opportunity to get sweaty on my commute. My top remained stainless the entire time. I next wore them on a particularly warm day – warm is probably an understatement; it was 32° – which was slightly annoying as I wanted to wear a sleeveless dress. The tube was unbearable, walking around from meeting to meeting with my laptop in my handbag was hell on earth, but my underarms remained dry. I wore them everyday for the next three days, and then my pack ran out and I realised that I had become seriously dependent on them.
I believe in them so much, that I’m going to wear them on my wedding day next month. So yes my friends, they work.
Where can you buy underarm patches?
You can buy them directly from their website.
They make them in two sizes – smaller for women, larger for men.
Each pack costs £8.99 and contains 10 patches.