Great! Another one.
We’re all fully aware that dating in the 21st century is no walk in the park. Yes, we have Tinder now, and yes, we can read Reddit threats about the things we will ‘never understand’ about guys, but as has been pointed out countless times before we’re living in such a disposable age that it’s easy enough for people to just cut you out like a misshapen mole.
Ghosting is now a universal term for that horrible thing that people do when they want to eradicate someone from their life. You know, the whole disappearing act that leaves you wondering if the person you’ve been seeing still exists somewhere in the universe, and you consider all sorts of scenarios – does someone know they’re missing? Should you tell someone? Reaching out to their siblings on Facebook doesn’t seem so weird because you just need to know. We’ve all been there. Ghosting sucks.
But now more – frankly terrible – bad behaviour has been given a name: zombieing. And the sad thing is, we’ve all been victim to it at least once in our lives.
The premise is that someone has ghosted you, and it has taken you a good few months to realise that they just didn’t want to go out with you. So they’re still alive! It was probably the holiday photos of him that a friend uploaded on Facebook that gave it away. No, he definitely didn’t just have a similar-looking mate. That really was him grinning on a swan lilo in Ibiza, but it’s cool. You don’t care about him and his flamingo shorts anymore, anyway.
Until a few more months go by, and suddenly the ghoster reaches out to you with a nonchalant text as if they hadn’t faked their own death at all.
‘Hey! Hows you?’ or ‘Long time no speak! What’s up?’ pings into your inbox. This is zombieing.
We’ve all been there. Do you reply as if nothing happened? Do you ignore? Do you play it cool with a ‘New phone, who dis’?
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Likely, they changed their mind about the whole thing. And of course, people are allowed to change their minds about relationships. But just be honest about it.
One zombied dater told Metro.co.uk: ‘If you are thinking of someone you lost contact with or might have ghosted, you should reach out to that person if you have any regret or curiosity… but acknowledge the passage of time and your responsibility for it.
‘Just do it respectfully and like a grown up.’