How To Date Your Housemate Without It All Going Tits Up

You've bonded over the cleaning rota and stared adoringly at each other while dividing up the council tax. Now what?

'Never have sex with someone you live with,' a friend warned, as I pondered the loveliness of my new housemate’s swirly green eyes. I’ll admit, it’s pretty sound advice. Nobody wants to wake up in a hungover, post-coital haze to find their previous night’s mistake clipping nose hair in the communal bathroom. But as with every rule, there’s always an exception. If it’s blatantly obvious that sparks are flying faster than a Katie Hopkins insult on Twitter, the ‘forbidden fruit’ of dating might be worth a bite. Just make sure you stick to the ground rules...

ONLY TAKE THE RISK IF YOU THINK IT'S WORTH IT

If one of you is ready to shop for matching sets of Le Creuset while the other had some inconsequential post-cocktail bonking in mind, it’s going to end in tears. And be warned: When you live together it’ll be much harder to hide under a duvet fort of mascara-stained pizza boxes whilst belting out snivelley renditions of ‘Someone Like You’. So make sure you’re both on the same page before you squeeze your bum into circulation restricting underwear and start doing your sex dance.

TALK ABOUT IT

So you’re ready to dive into Loversville with an open heart and a bumper box of Durex Ultra, but have you talked about logistics? How will you maintain your own space? When will you have sleepovers? How often will you arrange date nights? Without a plan, it’s easy to slide into a hairy legged comfort zone before you’ve really had a chance to get to know each other.

'FESS UP TO YOUR HOUSEMATES

Sneaking in and out of each other’s rooms has as excitement threshold of about a week. If you tell your housemates about your relationship sooner rather than later, chances are there’ll be more receptive to this burgeoning union. It’s also worth keeping the PDAs on the down low. Nobody wants to see you tongue sandwiching while taking the bins out.

HAVE NIGHTS APART

Sure, it’s convenient having your new love interest stationed across the corridor. But that doesn’t mean you need to spend every night slumped in front of Netflix together with a jumbo bag of Haribo Sours. As with any new relationship, it’s important to detangle your limbs once in a while to maintain space and boundaries. Plan separate nights out, spend time alone and keep your own bedrooms. Yes you could save on rent by shacking up together, but don’t attempt it until you’re ready.

BE PREPARED TO MOVE IF IT ALL GOES WRONG

Relationships are fragile beasts, and even the most promising can end in shiny tears or crushing white wine hangovers. With roomie couplings, the stakes are even higher. If you’ve decided it’s worth the risk, then you should make a go of it without doubts playing on your mind. Just bear in mind that you may need to reevaulate your living situation if it all comes crashing down around your ears.