How I Found Myself Again as a Stay-at-Home Mum

I have always been a grafter. Born in the mid-80s, fuelled by an adolescence of Spice Girl empowerment and a shiny Record of Achievement to show off my certificates, I wasn’t worldly—but I knew two things for certain: 1) I wanted to be a PE teacher, and 2) there was no backup plan. I locked in early on teaching as a career and worked hard to get the grades to join the tribe of the ‘African Violets’ at Loughborough University (IYKYK). I qualified and started full-time teaching just ten days after my 22nd birthday, spots that rivalled my students, but with an intrinsic belief that I was going to change children’s lives, one PE lesson at a time.

That was 2006, and I lived my dream for nine glorious years. During this time, I met my husband, Chris, who was also a PE teacher, and I really believed I had it all mapped out. We married in 2014, and shortly after I became pregnant. I was thrilled for us as a couple, but I sobbed as I told my department I would be going on maternity leave. Naively, I thought I was indispensable to the school—that I’d just have the baby and come back to work. Mic drop… that’s not how it went down.

Fast forward to two children in 19 months—a period I can only describe as ‘chaotically beautiful.’ I loved being at home, but I missed the camaraderie of the PE office and the feeling of being a little bit important (cringe admitting that out loud). I soon realised I wouldn’t be able to go back to work—the childcare bill alone made my salary pointless. With my husband’s career going from strength to strength, and living by the PE motto that ‘teamwork makes the dream work,’ we decided I would resign and stay home to look after the children.

I busied myself with playgroups, nappies, and celebrating milestones. I was happy enough, but I felt a sense of grief for who I used to be. In May 2019, we moved into a more spacious house—a total rip-out renovation. We had a little equity from our sale and started enthusiastically, but renovations are expensive, and progress soon stalled. Then, I badly ruptured my anterior cruciate ligament playing netball. It was my lowest point, but it catalysed something I never could have dreamt of.

I had started an Instagram account a couple of months earlier just to snoop at pretty interior pictures. With time to recover from my injury, I began to dream of what our house could look like: panelling, a wall mural for my daughter’s room, maybe a fluted sideboard in the living room. But the budget was low, family life and free time were limited, and, of course, I had the small problem of one leg that wasn’t working properly.

One day, during nap time, I sat staring at a peg rail I was desperate to hang. Clutter was mounting in our mid-reno home, and so was my frustration. We had limited tools, but we did have a drill. I decided to just go for it. I drilled a slightly wonky hole, then a better one, and screwed the peg rail in place. I had done it!

That little spark of productivity ignited a fire. Every nap time or quiet moment was filled with stripping wallpaper or painting. I loved the progress, and how it made me feel. I started filming myself and gaining followers. I couldn’t believe people actually wanted to watch. My confidence grew beyond DIY, and I loved the online community: conversations with tired mums, first-time homeowners hunting décor ideas, and a huge army of women wanting to learn power tools too. I was signed by FARQ, a talent management agency, and they helped me realise there was a whole world of opportunities beyond the classroom.

I had moved into teaching Science by this point. By day it was physics and chemistry, and by night it was panelling and editing videos for my online community.

I have since grown to over 450k followers across various platforms, and I am proud that 91% are women. I pitched an idea for a book to empower, educate, and inspire DIY newbies: Nailed It! The Essential Guide to Do It Yourself is the buddy I wish I had back when I was bursting with ideas but unsure of where to start. I wrote it for anyone who wants to get stuck into making their house a home, acknowledging that time is limited and sometimes we just need the simple steps written down.

I juggle teaching, the children (who are now 8 and 10), an almost-finished home, and my social media work but I thrive on the excitement of no two days being the same. Am I exhausted? Hell yes, but I have found that fulfilment again in my toolbox, and I hope to give that glimmer of empowerment to others to just give it a go! You just never know where that drill will take you.

Nailed It: The Essential Guide To Do It Yourself by Laura Deller (Pavilion, £20) is out March 26th.