I Cut Back on Studio Pilates, Expensive Salads and Skincare in Favour of Weekly Therapy—Nine Months On, My Honest Thoughts

In the last nine months, I’ve spent over £3500 on therapy. Seeing that written in black and white makes me want to scream. It’s the single biggest investment I’ve ever made in my wellbeing, and I question (almost weekly) whether it’s been worth it.

To understand how I got here, and why it matters to anyone besides myself, we need to go back a step. Because before I was spending nearly £100 a week on therapy, my wellness budget was by no means in check. In a month, I could easily spend the same amount on studio Pilates and trips to the sauna, a further £50 or so on overpriced salad bowls, and I hardly dare to tell you how much on skincare and vitamins.

I recognise that all of this is a privilege. Having the disposable income to even consider these things as options makes me more fortunate than many. But with the wellness industry now valued at $6.8 trillion and 79% of us in the UK considering it a top lifestyle priority, critically evaluating where we spend our money is of growing importance, especially because only 13% of us feel that we’re achieving our wellness goals. In fact, according to McKinsey, many of us report that, despite our increased spending, our most important wellness needs - in particular, our cognitive, heart and gut health - remain unmet.

It all points to the sense that we could be spending in the wrong places. But how, amongst all the science-backed claims and influencer-endorsed products, do we find the things that will truly make us feel well?

Ahead, we ask leading psychotherapists what wellness really looks like, and how therapy can be a tool to help us find it. Plus, a financial advisor shares her tips on how to healthily build a wellness budget, and I reflect on my own spending shifts over the last nine months.

For more expert-led wellbeing content, head to our guides to boundary-setting for empaths, why you should prioritise your creative health and the benefits of little treats.

I Swapped Wellness Spending For Therapy—My Review, 9 Months On

What do we actually need to feel well?

Quantifying what it means to be ‘well’ has been the work of centuries of philosophy, dating back to the Ancient Greek and Roman periods. But it wasn’t until the Harvard Study of Adult Development in the 1930s that psychologists first formally attempted to measure wellbeing. The study, which includes over 80 years’ worth of data, has prompted a landmark shift in the way we understand health, thanks to its discovery that social connection and the quality of our relationships are leading predictors of long-term health, happiness and longevity.

Since then, the study of happiness and wellbeing has exploded, with leading psychologists such as Dr Martin Seligman theorising that personal agency, a sense of purpose, optimism and accomplishment are also core components of a healthy, happy life.

Whilst there are now multiple models and scales used to measure happiness, what’s generally agreed is that it’s not something you can bottle or buy in a single pill or product. “Wellness is much broader than just being physically healthy or free from illness,” confirms psychologist, Dr Farideh Banafshei. “It’s a holistic look at the stability across all domains of your life.”

She explains that this stability spans physical, psychological and emotional health, as well as financial and relational health, alongside our wider sense of purpose and fulfilment. “At the foundation of all of this are our fundamental needs as human beings: to feel safe and autonomous,” she explains. “Wellness is not about being happy all the time or achieving some kind of perfection. It’s about having secure foundations that allow us to ride the waves of stress and to know that we are capable of moving through the adversities that come our way.”

What are the benefits of therapy as a wellness tool?

Now, to touch on therapy specifically, and the reasons that initially led me to prioritise it as a tool for wellbeing.

It’s a slightly confusing one, mainly because the benefits are less obvious and immediate than other wellness habits out there. Where you might leave a Pilates class feeling energised and accomplished, therapy can often leave you feeling worse in the immediate aftermath, at least at first.

The benefits, instead, tend to creep up on you over time without you even noticing them. They show up in the different ways you respond to emotionally charged conversations, in the decisions you make around self-care and boundaries, and the people you choose to spend your time with.

“One of the biggest benefits of therapy is that it allows you to actively engage with difficult emotions, rather than avoiding them,” says psychotherapist Cheryl Donaldson, who shares a list of other benefits we could expect to gain from therapy.

• Deeper connection to self and others
• Better emotional regulation
• Greater tolerance for adversity
• Sense of calm

“This all, of course, takes time,” she reminds us, adding that in trauma therapy, there’s the additional benefit of helping “the brain and body to safely return to the present moment.”

6 tips to work out your wellness priorities, according to a therapist and a financial advisor:

One thing that’s important to point out here: although therapy has worked for me, it’s not the only route to improved wellbeing, and it won’t be the right choice for everyone. It’s undeniably expensive, even when you’re opting for lower-cost services like BetterHelp, where sessions tend to be between £45 and £75.

It’s why consciously connecting with your own wellness priorities is essential in reaching your peak state of wellbeing. To help you do that, Donaldson and financial advisor Hannah Mayfield have some tips.

1. Get familiar with your finances

“The first step is actually knowing how much your disposable income is each month,” says Mayfield. “Once you know this, you can allocate it more strategically, taking into account all your big financial goals for the future. That way, nothing important gets compromised.”

2. Focus on the basics first

“If the basics are not there, there is nothing to build or optimise,” says Donaldson. “Our medical, emotional, and relational needs are non-negotiable. Everything else is a bonus.”

She says that at the forefront of this is social connection. “Our most fundamental need as humans is to be connected to others. If our primary relationships are not good, then no supplement or massage is going to fix that.”

3. Find affordable swaps for the nice-to-haves

Once you know how much you have available to spend, Mayfield says it’s about assessing impact. “Make a list of all the things you’d ideally spend your disposable income on,” she suggests. “From there, consider which ones have the biggest positive impact on your life. This helps you identify which are essential to keep, and which could be swapped out for a more affordable alternative.”

4. Go slow

“If you implement everything all at once, you can measure nothing,” explains Donaldson, who suggests adding one new habit at a time and monitoring how it goes. “I often measure change through frequency, duration and intensity,” she explains. “People rarely change overnight, but over time you should be able to see markers shifting. If a problem you’re facing is just as frequent, lasting just as long and feeling just as intense, that is useful information. If those things are gradually decreasing, something is working.”

5. Be mindful of subscriptions

This one is fairly self-explanatory, but Mayfield says it’s easy to fall into the trap. “Once you get used to a subscription, you can quickly end up unconsciously losing a chunk of your income every month to something you don’t really use.”

6. Avoid impulse purchases

Part of what makes wellness budgeting so tough is the way that products are marketed and the ease with which we can instantly buy, explains Mayfield. “Lots of wellness products are presented as a need when in fact they’re a luxury,” she says. “Try to avoid purchasing on impulse and instead take your time to consider it before buying.”

I Reduced My Wellness Spending To Afford Weekly Therapy-Nine Months Later, It’s The Best Thing I’ve Ever Done

Months one to four

The decision to start therapy was one I pondered for months (read: years) before I actually took the leap. I’d dabbled in it before and had discovered that if I really wanted to start shifting some emotional patterns and persistent coping mechanisms, I’d need to invest in more than just a handful of sessions.

The biggest hurdle was, as you’ll know by now, financial. I’m a freelance journalist and, at the time, was only five months into my career, which meant that my finances were unstable at best. Plus, as anyone in the creative industries will know, this is not a career you enter for the money. As a result, I knew there would need to be some sacrifices.

I started with a spreadsheet, mapping out where my disposable income was going each month and looking for places where I could make sensible swaps without drastically affecting my quality of life. I’m already fairly stringent when it comes to transport (I’m a girl who’ll always get a bus over an Uber), and I don’t go on a lot of nights out, smoke or drink much alcohol, so there wasn’t tons to cut back on there. The obvious place was wellness. In the months before starting therapy, I was spending more than £250 on studio Pilates, overpriced salad bowls, new workout kit, the odd facial, a trip to the sauna and lots of skincare.

There was nothing wrong with any of these things. But if I was going to find nearly £100 a week for therapy, some of them had to go. So, I reluctantly cancelled my Pilates subscription, bought some new Tupperware and took inventory of the skincare products I was using to see where I could find more affordable alternatives.

What’s most interesting about those first four months is how little I missed my old habits. Mainly because I didn’t go completely cold turkey. I’m a big advocate of moving your body daily, so there was no way that cancelling my Pilates membership would mark the end of my practice. Instead, I swapped studio classes for home YouTube workouts (Pilates by Izzy and The Aloha Girls are my favourites), alongside regular gym sessions and swims at my local leisure centre, which cost me £7 and £4 respectively.

In fact, these practices have become even more important to my mental wellbeing since starting therapy. They’re the only way I can clear my head after a session, which makes them feel just as essential as the therapy itself.

Therapy, meanwhile, didn’t make me feel immediately lighter. For a good few months, it was tough going. In the hours (and even days) after a session, I’d feel more exhausted and emotional. At times, it seemed like my work ethic and social battery were slipping because of the extra mental energy I was using, and I regularly questioned whether I’d made the right decision.

Was I really paying to feel worse?

Months five to nine

And yet, something about therapy made me stick at it, and by month five, I started to turn a corner. Day to day, things still felt a little heavy, and I certainly wasn’t getting the dopamine spike that buying a new workout set or getting a facial would give me. But when I reflected on my overall sense of ‘ok-ness’ (not a technical term), there was noticeable improvement.

It came in the form of lots of small, subtle shifts. In the way I spoke to myself day to day; in my ability to connect with my emotions and in how present and vulnerable I could be with my friends. It was also in how I reacted to stressful situations, and in my ability to rest without distraction.

As those changes took hold, I also noticed less of a need to spend on wellness. I was less drawn in by the healing promises of products and services because, ultimately, I felt that there was less I needed to fix.

That’s not to say that I stopped spending altogether. I still like going to Pilates when I can afford to, I still love the taste of a Farmer J field tray, and who could refuse the joys of an evening trip to the sauna from time to time? The difference is that these things feel less urgent now. They’re treats I add when I can afford them, rather than things I believe will make me any more whole than I already am.

The verdict: which wellness practices matter to me now?

You might be wondering what my wellness routine looks like now. So I’ll tell you, with the caveat that what makes me feel well might not be the same for you.

• Weekly therapy
• Home Pilates
• A gym membership to an affordable gym with a pool
• Daily reading
• Home cooked, whole-food led meals
• Regular in-person catch ups with friends

Together, these habits protect my physical, mental, relational, creative and financial health, and make me feel safe, balanced, energised and supported.

My advice for anyone else questioning their wellness spending? Tune in to how something makes you feel, not to how it looks or what a marketing claim promises. Never feel guilty for spending on something that genuinely improves your health and don’t be afraid to switch things up if it’s not working.

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