Are you ready?
Uh oh. It seems like if you want to have a happy relationship, there’s one word you should *never* use during fights. While we can imagine about a dozen (if not more) words we wouldn’t want hurled at us during an argument with a partner, this little word is apparently one of the riskiest: should.
While it seems like a harmless word, according to Good Housekeeping, couples therapist Jeffrey Bernstein says it’s actually a pretty terrible choice of words when it comes to having ~annoying arguments and convos ~ with your partner. In Psychology Today, Bernstein says, ‘Thinking should about someone you love, or being on the receiving end of a “should” creates negative energy and, over time, can be toxic for any relationship, especially a loving one.’
Huh. Now, all we can do is cycle through arguments we’ve been in with our partners where we used ‘should!’ Do we even use it? And if we do, what should we replace this dangerous word with?
‘Instead of telling partners “You should know how I feel,” opt instead for “I would like you to hear me out on this please,”’ the therapist recommends.
Seems easy enough, right?
Could be worse. As far as compromising for the sake of a healthier relationship, dropping a word like ‘should’ seems pretty easy. Now if we could only compromise on what Netflix show to binge watch next, that would be nice…
From the editors of Hello Giggles