Milan Fashion Week AW14: 9 Things You Need To Know

And so to Milano… week three in the fashion hot house and things are looking like this for our intrepid fashion features director, Victoria Moss.

1. We love Karl

Well, obviously that’s not really news. We’re actually obsessed with Karl Lagerfeld. I mean, we even made him into sticker form in the current SS14 issue of Marie Claire Runway (shameless plug? Sure, why not). It’s not as if we ran backstage after the Fendi show armed with said stickers to give him a batch and then showed him the back of our iPhone where we have his Donald Robertson etched form stuck on it. We wouldn’t be that sad (we totally did! He loved it!). But anyway, anyway, we’re not alone, if the frenzy over Cara Delevingne’s furry catwalk pal was anything to go by, everyone is going to be on the massive blag offensive to get their mitts on a fluffy KL. Just remember who made you into a sticker first Lagerfeld.

2. We need a new word for statement

Believe us, we’re as bored of telling you things are a statement as much as we’re sure you are of hearing it: the statement sweater/skirt/shoe/bag, good grief it’s too much! Can’t clothes just be clothes? We hear ya, but um, that would somewhat put us out of a job. So, a thing that is happening is that coats have gone bonkers in a particularly loud and striking way. What we do know, is that we wish this coat had happened in time for our snowstorm look in NYC of late but, you know, better late than never. We have taken the liberty of identifying the three front runners of next winter’s reactionary outerwear trend:

The shag

A long layered, sexy sort of a weave which plays into all of our ‘what we would have strutted into Studio 54’ wearing fantasy fashion scenarios.

The multi-shag

What? How rude! We don’t know what you mean. This, is the stepped up, if you will, super-shag version. It’s a veritable technicolour coat of dreams, sometimes it’s a multi-hued splodgy print, others lean towards a patchwork affect. Oh god, now we have that song in our heads. Lloyd-Webber this is not about you. It’s about this delight from Marni:

The sheep

A sheepskin coat is going to be serious business come next winter. They’re all at it. Pucci’s Peter Dundas whipped up yummy thick flying ones, Marni made them silver lame (OMG, we know!) but it is Mrs Prada’s versions from her unique blending of Berlin art deco and the 70s that frankly have us on our knees in supplication.

3. Dolce & Gabbana’s fashion tale

We’re as much of a sucker for a big ol’ over the top set as the next sardonic-yet-easily entertained fashion journalist, and these two didn’t let us down – the models skitted out from a veritable woodland wonderland, all chandeliers in trees, bird cages and falling ivy. We only wish Mssrs D&G had been lounging on the giant wooden throne to tell us a story. Now to the clothes, as grown women, we’re not so sold on the idea of being fairy tale princesses so we might rain check on the bodice covered Cinderella frocks, but holy smoke were those jewel encrusted Knights helmets? And armour plated over the knee boots to die for? Are you kidding? Hand us our sword, bring us our breastplate, we are onwards to the fashion war! We also really liked the little squirrel, owl and fox applique prints. Very fuzzy felts circa our playroom.

4. A note on manners

Dear Rita Ora and Katy Perry, People don’t like to be kept waiting nearly for nearly an hour at the end of a 12-hour day. We’re sure your mothers raised you better than that. Yours sincerely, The Fashion World.

5. Jeremy Scott’s Moschino

After everyone had booed the above pop stars into their tardy seats, out came the newly installed creative director’s vision for Moschino. This has always been a brand on the tongue-in-cheek edge of fashion, one which likes to make a wry commentary on our culture. And we’re all for that. Fashion is nothing if not utterly hilarious most of the time. So is turning McDonald’s counter staff uniforms into looks and Happy Meal boxes into bags fashion? Is putting Jourdann Dunn into a Hershey chocolate bar wrapper ball gown a clever appraisal of the zeitgeist? Do you want to wear a Sponge Bob Square Pants mink coat? Is this wearable cool or merely fodder for Instagram? Fashion is nothing if not democratic. So, it’s all up to you to decide really.

6. ‘So I’ll get my driver to speak to your driver'

We heard some Americans say this out loud. It made us laugh.

7. Roberto’s Ring Of Fire

Who sets up a massive circular flame in a pitch black plastic tent? Roberto Cavalli, you cad! Certainly a new one on us, and the added frisson of wondering whether the whole fashion industry was going to be toast certainly gave the show an extra edge. It did however, look awesome and Cavalli’s pretty drop waisted flapper gowns and flame printed looks were worth the sweat.

8. Learn how to pronounce Alessandra Fachinetti

For it is she who is leading a quiet but assured assault on our wardrobes. The creative director of Tod’s, now two seasons into her tenure, has managed to take a pure bred accessories brand and give it a language and line of ready-to-wear clothes that is exciting, clever and crucially, excessively covetable. With her window pane checks, soft use of the prettiest lilac leather and patent midnight parkas she has created a world that we really want to be grown up enough to live in. We also liked that we got served champagne on exiting. We like this lady. A lot.

9. A great grey knit

We’re really into this polo neck by Tomas Meir at Bottega Veneta. Sometimes, you know, it’s just the simple things.