'Ladies and remaining gentlemen. Happy new year, Hollywood. It's 2018 - marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isn't.'
Presenting the Golden Globes to a Hollywood still reeling from #MeToo was always going to be a tough gig, particularly for a straight white man, but Seth Meyers proved to be the ideal host – tackling the biggest issue of the night in a comedic style without trivialising it. He also took a few shots at Trump along the way (because why not).
Here are a few of the best jokes from his opening monologue.
The best Seth Meyers Golden Globes jokes
‘Ladies and remaining gentlemen. Happy new year, Hollywood. It’s 2018 – marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isn’t.’
‘A string of three words that could not be better designed to infuriate our president — Hollywood Foreign Press Association . The only name that could make him angrier is the ‘Hillary Mexico Salad Association.’”
‘There’s a new era underway, and I can tell because it’s been years since a white man has been this nervous in Hollywood. For the male nominees in the room tonight, this will be the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.’
[On Weinstein] ‘Don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person to be booed at the annual In Memoriam,’ [when the audience gasped] ‘It will sound like that.’
‘A lot of people thought it would be more appropriate for a woman to host tonight’s show, and they might be right, but if it makes you feel any better I have absolutely no power in Hollywood. I’m not even the most powerful Seth in the room,’ [as the camera pans to Seth Rogen] ‘Remember when he was the one causing trouble with North Korea?’
‘A special hello to hosts of other awards shows who are watching me tonight! Like the first dog they shot into outer space.’
‘They tried to get a woman to host this show, they really did. They said, “Hey, how would you like to come and be judged by some of the most powerful people in Hollywood?” And women were like, “Hmm…well, where is it?” They said, “It’s at a hotel.” And long story short, I’m your host tonight.’
Meyers also asked Jessica Chastain (among others) for help with his monologue:
‘On my show we do a segment called “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” with two of my writers, Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel. Where they tell punch lines that would be more fun coming from them instead of me, a straight white male. Tonight, that’s more true than ever. So we thought we could enlist some of the brilliant people in this room. So, let’s start. Where is Jessica Chastain? Jessica Chastain? There she is. Jessica Chastain, everybody.
Meyers: ‘The Golden Globes turned 75 this year.’
Chastain: ‘But the actress that plays its wife is still only 32.’
But the very best bit was a cameo from Amy Poehler…