Seth Meyers uses his Golden Globes speech to take a shot at Harvey Weinstein

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  • 'Ladies and remaining gentlemen. Happy new year, Hollywood. It's 2018 - marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isn't.'

    Presenting the Golden Globes to a Hollywood still reeling from #MeToo was always going to be a tough gig, particularly for a straight white man, but Seth Meyers proved to be the ideal host – tackling the biggest issue of the night in a comedic style without trivialising it. He also took a few shots at Trump along the way (because why not).

    Here are a few of the best jokes from his opening monologue.

    The best Seth Meyers Golden Globes jokes

    ‘Ladies and remaining gentlemen. Happy new year, Hollywood. It’s 2018 – marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isn’t.’

    ‘A string of three words that could not be better designed to infuriate our president — Hollywood Foreign Press Association . The only name that could make him angrier is the ‘Hillary Mexico Salad Association.’”

    ‘There’s a new era underway, and I can tell because it’s been years since a white man has been this nervous in Hollywood. For the male nominees in the room tonight, this will be the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.’

    [On Weinstein] ‘Don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person to be booed at the annual In Memoriam,’ [when the audience gasped] ‘It will sound like that.’

    ‘A lot of people thought it would be more appropriate for a woman to host tonight’s show, and they might be right, but if it makes you feel any better I have absolutely no power in Hollywood. I’m not even the most powerful Seth in the room,’ [as the camera pans to Seth Rogen] ‘Remember when he was the one causing trouble with North Korea?’

    ‘A special hello to hosts of other awards shows who are watching me tonight! Like the first dog they shot into outer space.’ 

    ‘They tried to get a woman to host this show, they really did. They said, “Hey, how would you like to come and be judged by some of the most powerful people in Hollywood?” And women were like, “Hmm…well, where is it?” They said, “It’s at a hotel.” And long story short, I’m your host tonight.’

    Meyers also asked Jessica Chastain (among others) for help with his monologue:

    ‘On my show we do a segment called “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” with two of my writers, Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel. Where they tell punch lines that would be more fun coming from them instead of me, a straight white male. Tonight, that’s more true than ever. So we thought we could enlist some of the brilliant people in this room. So, let’s start. Where is Jessica Chastain? Jessica Chastain? There she is. Jessica Chastain, everybody.

    Meyers: ‘The Golden Globes turned 75 this year.’ 

    Chastain: ‘But the actress that plays its wife is still only 32.’

    But the very best bit was a cameo from Amy Poehler…

    Meyers: ‘All right, where is Amy Poehler? All right, there you are, Amy! Do you want to do one?’

    Poehler: ‘Yeah, I’ll do one. But I don’t need your help.’

    Meyers: ‘Yeah, but no, I do the set up and then you do the punchline.’

    Poehler: ‘Oh, is that how it works? You’re explaining something I already know. Is this the man-splaining part of the evening?’

    Meyers: ‘No, no, no. I just don’t think it’ll work without a setup to your punchline.’

    Poehler: ‘Oh, well, I’m glad to know what you think. First of all, thank you for letting me know what you think. And secondly, I’m a women in Hollywood, Seth. You know, we’ve all be through a lot. I don’t need a setup to make a punchline work. Okay, you’re sadly mistaken.’

    Meyers: ‘Okay, I’m sorry, I apologize.’

    Poehler: ‘Oh, another apology. How wonderful. Alright, let me just get started. I’m reclaiming my wine.’

    Meyers: ‘So, you’re gonna just do a punchline with no setup?’

    Poehler: ‘Everybody gets it! You already explained it! Stop explaining it! Oh my god! Okay, punchline, no setup here we go! Said the peach in Call Me By Your Name. This scene is the pits.’

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