Thriving with Ateh: Finding myself at 46

The past 18 months has been the wildest and most challenging time of my life. Anyone who follows me on Instagram will know what a journey I’ve been on. My self-worth and self-esteem needed nurturing back to health and I have found inner strength and resilience through everything from skincare and fragrance, to supplements and movement.

Wellness and beauty rituals have always been a safe and fun space for me to express myself and be joyful. I’ve been a beauty journalist and broadcaster for over 20 years and my love of this industry has healed and saved me.

Last year, on the 1st of July 2023 I called time on my 26-year relationship and marriage. Four days later, I launched my beauty brand Ateh Jewel Beauty into Harrods. Looking back on this time, it's a complete blur. However, I'm so proud of the way that I managed to navigate this difficult, yet exciting time of my life. I didn’t allow heartbreak to get in the way of 20 years of hard graft and fulfilling my lifelong dream.

This was the start of me twirling into the 2.0 version of myself—46, single and entering the world of co-parenting to 13-year-old twin daughters. I was by myself for the first time, as a grown-up. I married my first boyfriend, who I had met at just 19, and had never done life solo.

I feel I’m coming through the storm and I’m now thriving, rather than surviving. I would love to take you all along for the ride with me in this new three-part column.

Movement 

I think so many relationships change and end once someone starts to lean into being their most authentic self and this was the case for me. During my marriage, I gained 11 stone and gave myself type 2 diabetes. This past year, movement from dancing (specifically batty rolling) with my friend pro dancer Bonnie Lister Parsons(founder of SOS Dance) and ballet with Royal Ballet-trained teacher Karis Scarlette, has been so healing.

I've also found a new love of gym life at the incredibly smart Club Bamford, with celeb trainer Bebe Beachus. This has been a complete surprise, but a delightful surprise. Working out has been an incredible source of joy and strength—both metaphorically and literally. I’ve started to lift heavy weights (I can now bench press 30-45KG), I'm a dab hand at resistance band workouts and have focussed heavily on core work.

I also started taking Ozempic in October 2023 after a life-changing visit to fasting clinic Buchinger Wilhelmi. It helped me reset my attitude toward my type 2 diabetes and my body. I knew it was time to start to heal.

My new combination of dancing, workout plans, sensible eating, Ozempic and getting between 5,000 and 10,000 steps a day means I have lost seven stone and have almost reversed my type 2 diabetes. My aim is to lose another three to four stone and be the healthiest version of myself.

Learning to trust yourself, your instincts and your gut, especially if there’s been gaslighting after a relationship breakdown, can be challenging. I have found that lifting weights and feeling strong has made me trust my body and myself, which has been a game changer. My self-esteem and confidence have grown.

I’m manifesting and love Roxie Nafousi and her book Manifest, which can help change your perspective and life. I also have a new goal of being a Strictly Come Dancing contestant and lifting that glitter ball this year.

Rituals

When your world becomes chaotic and out of control clinging onto beauty rituals and creating some form of structure for yourself is so important. For me being numb and eating my feelings was a huge issue. Learning to love, nourish and nurture my body has been really important. I used to think the word balance was a dirty word, but I now see how rest and leaning into being more balanced is essential if you want to heal and grow. I love to use body oils every day, as they help me feel connected and calm and nightly baths help me reflect and process the day. Taking daily supplements, using beauty tools, having a morning and evening skincare regime, spritzing myself with fragrance and applying my favourite make-up (like my Ateh Jewel Beauty Blush) have become highly ritualised and special. I’m learning that thriving is about taking control of the things you can, honouring yourself and surrendering to things which are out of your control. Instead use beauty, wellness and colour to bring you joy and peace so you too can start the year strong.