Ever wondered what your Uber driver thinks of you drunkenly singing along to bad pop songs on his radio? Well, now you can find out thanks to the Diary Of An Uber Driver blog...
‘IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT YOU’RE UGLY AND HAVE A SMALL D!#K, YOU’LL STILL HAVE WOMEN THROWING THEMSELVES AT YOU! WON’T YOU!’ Hissed the drunken Medusa as she glared at me from the passenger seat.
‘Yes, this is where the conversation ended up in my first ever job as an Uber driver. Í will take you back to where it all started.’
These are the opening lines of one Australian Uber driver’s blog, which documents the annoying, hilarious and downright crazy passengers he has come across while working in Sydney. The Diary Of An Uber Driver has only been online for a few weeks but it’s already gaining fans around the world for its hilarious honesty because sadly, yes, these terrible Uber passengers are just like us.
Okay, maybe not Holly the ‘drunken Medusa’ (we hope), but who hasn’t annoyed their driver by singing along to Taylor Swift on their way into town on a Saturday night, or by accidentally keeping them waiting outside for a completely unacceptable amount of time?
So what became of poor Holly in the back of the Uber driver’s car? It turns out she had been ditched by her Tinder date and she wasn’t too happy about it, hence the Uber tantrum. He continues:
‘Holly had now reached hysteria. Glaring at me from beneath her matted hair she started breathing heavily, refusing to look away. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I just stared straight ahead and tried to concentrate on the road. I glanced over at my phone and saw I only had 2 minutes until I would reach Holly’s destination. Just 2 minutes to survive the wrath of Holly.’
He follows this with the story of a group of rowdy guys on a night out who played Paul Kelly songs so loud that he was given a $200 police fine for ’emitting offensive noise from a motor vehicle.’ There’s also Brazilian Alejandro, who had a woman on each arm and whose wife was completely fine with that, and snobby Lydia whose son wouldn’t stop kicking his seat – the driver awarded them a 2/5 Uber rating.
We can look forward to even more tales of woe from the Uber driver, who has chosen to remain anonymous – his next one will be about his journey with a group of ‘intoxicated private school girls.’