If you’re a wanted criminal in China, you’re in luck
Let’s be honest, going to a wedding and seeing your nearest and dearest (/partner’s boss/school friend you haven’t seen in 12 years/buddy of the guy your dating/ex) get hitched isn’t always the most convenient and cheap of occasions.
You have to buy a new outfit that you’ll never wear again (yeah, thanks Facebook for ruining recycling clothes), stand around and mingle with strangers, and a lot of the time travel, sometimes to another country. Farewell annual leave and bank balance.
An Australian couple named Wendy and Michael, are having their wedding in China, due to Wendy being from there originally, and most of her family still living there.
Of course this means asking a lot of their guests, so to save them from making awkward excuses to get out of the trip, the pair created a wedding invitation that does it for them.
A friend, @abeckslife shared this wedding invitation gem on Twitter, with its multiple RSVP options, including:
Yes! I/We will be attending because:
It’s another destination wedding! Please somebody invite me to a wedding in Antarctica so I can complete my 7 weddings in 7 continents bucket list item.
By amazing coincidence, I have a work conference in Shanghai at exactly the same time, fully funded by my employer including business class fares.
Mike promised to deliver a heartfelt speech and song in the Mandarin language. I’d like to record it and ridicule him for the remainder of his days.
No, I/We will unfortunately be unable to attend because:
It’s another destination wedding! Back in my day, it was reasonable to decline a wedding in Yarra Glen on the grounds of distance and bus fair.
I’m a wanted fugitive in China. It was an innocent mix-up. I kept yelling “FORK” as I can’t get the hang of those blasted chopsticks. I don’t know how this was misinterpreted, but I admit using an escalating tone, waving my index finger and stamping my feet was ill advised.
I’m stricken with fear that the 7 course wedding banquet will not contain my Chinese staples of honey chicken and beef and black bean, but rather will include ducks tongue, pigs blood soup and tiger’s spleen.
TWITTER / @ABECKSLIFE
Well that looks like all bases covered, congratulations across the board, Wendy and Mike.