Marie Claire UK Marie Claire UK
  • Fashion Fashion
      • Fashion
        • View all Fashion
        • Fashion Trends
        • Shopping
        • Watches and Jewellery
        • Fashion News
  • Beauty Beauty
      • Beauty
        • View all Beauty
        • Fragrance
        • Hair
        • Make Up
        • Skincare
        • Nails
        • Marie Claire Beauty Awards
  • Health Health
      • Health
        • View all Health
        • Fitness
        • Nutrition
        • Female Health
        • Wellbeing
  • Life Life
      • Life
        • View all Life
        • Opinions
        • Travel
        • Sustainability
        • Weddings
        • Money & Work
        • Competitions
  • Culture Culture
      • Culture
        • View all Culture
        • TV and Film
        • Celebrity News
        • Books
        • Royal News
  • Vouchers Vouchers
      • Clothing
        • View all Vouchers
        • Mint Velvet
        • Karen Millen
        • H&M
        • nobody's child
        • ASOS
        • ARKET
        • MANGO
      • Designer Clothing
        • View all Vouchers
        • Reiss
        • THE OUTNET
        • SSENSE
        • Mytheresa
        • Liberty London
        • Selfridges
        • Farfetch
      • Accessories
        • View all Vouchers
        • AllSaints
        • Aspinal of London
        • Charles & Keith
        • River Island
        • FitFlop
        • Kate Spade
        • Vagabond
      • Jewellery
        • View all Vouchers
        • Pandora
        • Abbott Lyon
        • Goldsmiths
        • Beaverbrooks
        • Astrid & Miyu
        • Swarovski
        • Angara Jewellery
      • Beauty
        • View all Vouchers
        • Sephora
        • Cult Beauty
        • Space NK
        • Dyson
        • Clarins
        • Look Fantastic
        • Clinique
      • Activewear
        • View all Vouchers
        • Lululemon
        • Gymshark
        • Sweaty Betty
        • Nike
        • adidas
        • New Balance
        • Helly Hansen
  • NEWSLETTER Signup to our newsletter
  • logoCreated with Sketch.
    Marie Claire Newsletter

    Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!


    By submitting your information you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy and are aged 16 or over.

    You are now subscribed

    Your newsletter sign-up was successful


    An account already exists for this email address, please log in.
    Trending
    • Women in Sport 2026
    • Marie Claire Masters
    • Spring Summer 2026
    • Nail Trends 2026
    • Best Investment Bags
    • Best Perfumes
    • Digital Issues
    • Women Who Win
    1. Life
    2. Relationships

    Why I'm masturbating more than having sex with my partner

    'I’m the first to admit that I love to wank.'

    Delphine Chui's avatar
    By Delphine Chui
    Published 2 March 2017 In Features

    When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

    (Image credit: SNAP/REX/Shutterstock)
    • Facebook
    • X
    • Pinterest
    Share this article
    Join the conversation
    Follow us
    Add us as a preferred source on Google
    Subscribe to our newsletter

    'I’m the first to admit that I love to wank.'

    Words - Stina Sanders

    I’m the first to admit that I love to wank.

    For some women, masturbation is a subject that not many wish to discuss, let alone admit that they like to do. Until of course, they’ve had a couple of wines at an Ann Summers party…

    Personally, there is nothing better than a good rub downstairs. I may be old fashioned but whenever I stroke myself, I prefer to use my hand than a sex toy. It may seem strange to some, but I have never understood the joy of sticking an aggressive rubber-wand up myself - especially one with with bunny ears!

    You may like
    • Milly Goldsmith “I’ve Never Had A Boyfriend”: Milly Goldsmith On Being “Chronically Single”
    • A woman running into the sunset on the beach "Soft Hermitting" Is Trending on TikTok—and Promises to Be the Antidote to Hustle Culture
    • Rear View Cropped Shot Of Unrecognizable Woman Taking Pregnancy Test At Home “When I Saw A Positive Pregnancy Test, I Wanted To Call An Abortion Clinic Immediately”

    For me, the rampant rabbit is just as overrated as sex. It’s sad to confess this but since I’ve been sexually active, I have never experienced an orgasm through penetration. (Yes, sorry ex boyfriends, I did fake that face.)

    Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy sex - but I’d rather spend the night pleasing myself.

    Marie Claire Newsletter

    Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!

    By submitting your information you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy and are aged 16 or over.

    I mean why not? I’m really good at it. I know exactly where all my sensitive spots are and I know what works and what doesn’t. I know what speed to use and pressure. And just like magic, I can make myself orgasm in seconds, all from the tip of my fingers!

    I masturbate more than I have sex with my partner. And even when we’re having sex, I’ll still play with myself.

    Clitoral stimulation is key if I want to achieve an orgasm and apparently that’s the same for a lot of women too. In fact, 75% of us wouldn’t get off without the help of a hand.

    What to read next
    • A woman meditating, practicing yoga and using sage in her home I Taught Women To Listen To Their Bodies. Now I Can't Stop Listening To Mine
    • Women sharing a plate of tiramisu "Little Treat Culture" Is Being Hailed As the Perfect Antidote to Over-Optimisation—So I Tried It for a Month
    • Health freelance writer Katie Sims trying a 20-minute wind down bedtime ritual I Swapped My Evening Scroll for a 20-Minute Wind-Down Ritual—Two Weeks Later, I Sleep Completely Differently

    Regardless of whether you use your hand, an object or finger, everyone should invest in some 'me time' at least twice a week. Getting to know yourself and what you want, is not only fun but it allows you to be more vocal in the bedroom.

    Although, to this day, sex with myself is the best sex I’ve ever had. And probably always will be.

    I’m pretty sure there is no one out there who can make me see stars and not mistake my labia for my clitoris.

    The moral of this story is if you feel bad about wanting to wank more than spending a night of romance with your partner; please don’t. There is no shame in closing your eyes and giving yourself a free massage.

    At the end of the day, you deserve it.

    Follow lifestyle blogger Stina Sanders on Instagram. And read her piece in defence of period sex here.

    Delphine Chui
    Delphine Chui
    Social Links Navigation
    Read more
    Milly Goldsmith
    Relationships “I’ve Never Had A Boyfriend”: Milly Goldsmith On Being “Chronically Single”
    A woman running into the sunset on the beach
    Wellbeing "Soft Hermitting" Is Trending on TikTok—and Promises to Be the Antidote to Hustle Culture
     
     
    Rear View Cropped Shot Of Unrecognizable Woman Taking Pregnancy Test At Home
    Life “When I Saw A Positive Pregnancy Test, I Wanted To Call An Abortion Clinic Immediately”
    A woman meditating, practicing yoga and using sage in her home
    Female health I Taught Women To Listen To Their Bodies. Now I Can't Stop Listening To Mine
     
     
    Latest in Relationships
    Wedding planning
    Relationships I Love My Fiancé, but I Resent the Emotional Labour of Planning Our Wedding
    Wicker husband: Alexander Skarsgård and Olivia Coleman in the new film Wicker
    Relationships Move Over Regular Men and AI Boyfriends, The “Wicker Husband” Has Arrived
     
     
    Emotionally Unavailable Men: Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie in Wuthering Heights
    Relationships Why Are We Still Glamourising Emotionally Unavailable Men?
    Broken disco ball smashed to pieces on the floor. Black and white for a dramatic touch. Shiny backdrop is defocused.
    Relationships Why Do Men Ruin Your Birthday?
     
     
    Latest in Features
    Autumn Nail Trends 2026
    Nails From Fawn Print to Milky Matcha—These Are Autumn 2026’s Defining Nail Trends
    Fenty Beauty Pro Filtr Fluid Flex Foundation Review
    Make Up Fenty Beauty Just Replaced Its Most Iconic Foundation—3 Editors Put Its “Flexible” Full Coverage to the Test
     
     
    Ata-Owaji Victor reviews Clinique Black Honey Collection
    Make Up Clinique Just Turned Viral Black Honey Lipstick Into a Full Collection—I've Tried Them All, and I Have Thoughts
    Charlotte Mensah Afro Hair
    Hair Charlotte Mensah Has Spent 40 Years Changing the Conversation Around Afro Hair—Now, Her Legacy Is Going on Display
     
     
    logoCreated with Sketch.
    • Site Archive
    • Contact Future's experts
    • Contact us
    • Terms and conditions
    • Advertise with us
    • Privacy policy
    • Cookies policy
    • About us
    Add as a preferred source on Google Add as a preferred source on Google

    Marie Claire UK is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.

    © Future Publishing Limited Quay House, The Ambury, Bath BA1 1UA. All rights reserved. England and Wales company registration number 2008885.