Blue-stalling is the dating trend we’ve all fallen victim to at some point

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  • Picture (or recall) this: you’re seeing someone, it’s going really well, their dog loves you and you spend your weekends cuddled up on the couch drinking cheap Prosecco and watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race. The dream.

    But it has been going on for a while now, and ‘the chat’ is looming. Are you official? Are you still meant to be dating other people? Will he ever post a picture of you both on Instagram?

    If you’ve plucked up the courage to have ‘the chat’ but your beau is reluctant to ‘put a label on things’ or insists they ‘don’t want anything serious’ and ‘aren’t ready for commitment’ – but they’re still on Tinder and dating around – there’s a name for it. have coined a term for this behaviour – ‘blue-stalling’ – and spoke to relationship expert James Preece about the phenomenon.

    He told the site: ‘As a dating coach I know it’s incredibly common. This has always happened, but dating sites/apps have made it worse.  That’s because people are often never really clear about why they are meeting in the first place. Are they going on a date, catching up, testing a friendship or simply hooking up?

    ‘As nobody really knows it can be a confusing time and nothing ever really gets decided.’

    Frustrating, right?

    Sadly, we’ve all been there. At least once (ahem). But there is a way around it if you’re willing to cut loose when you don’t hear what you’re hoping to.

    He advises: ‘If you’ve been seeing each other for a while it’s fine to want to take things more seriously. Emotions have come into play and you want to make sure they are being reciprocated. So if it’s worrying you, there’s nothing to lose by asking.

    ‘If they want to be an official couple then great, but if they need more time at least you’ll know. If weeks drag on to months with no change then it’s time for them to make a decision. You can’t go on not knowing, or you’ll end up resenting them.’

    So essentially, if you don’t get the answer you want then it’s time to Marie Kondo them and find someone who’s on the same page as you.

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