I will halve my body weight. I will quit wine and replace it with shots of wheatgrass. I will be the woman who goes running before work. Recognise these ludicrous self-pledges? January must be looming. But seeing as we're not into self-torture, here are 13 New Year's resolutions that are much easier to keep. Promise.
1. Take your make-up off after a night out
Ok, so we understand it's hard to cleanse, tone and moisturise once you've already fallen asleep on the sofa but this is an age-defying must. Dare we go as extreme as to say law? Yep, not removing your beauty paint may as well be illegal.
2. Stop that midweek croissant
Oh so tasty, but oh so naughty – and don't pretend we don't all do it. Make this buttery treat wait until Friday and stick to a healthy breakfast from Mon - Thurs.
3. Buy more tights
Sounds simple, but you can bet your Zara storecard there's a couple of laddered pairs just waiting to embarrass you on your next night out.
4. Throw away clothes you haven't worn in over a year
A toughie, we know. And although vintage is in, that doesn't give you a free pass to keep every single piece of clothing you've ever bought – especially those colour-crazy 90s leggings. Plus, think how much free space they'll be for that hot new collection you've had your eye on...
5. Stop looking at your ex on Facebook
It will only make you feel frustrated because his life looks better than yours. But here's a thought: it's not. And he only puts up photos of himself sky-diving, windsurfing and partying to make you jealous. So take our advice and steer your gaze in the direction of that hot friend-of-a-friend instead.
6. Start yoga
It's one of those classes you promise you'll take up every January, but 2014 is the year you will find your inner zen, reduce your stress levels and *be able to do the splits by summer.
*don't hold us to this one
7. Get cooking
A brie and cranberry baguette from Pret is not dinner. Start using one of those 40 rustic recipe books you bought last year in an attempt to make your kitchen look homely.
8. Watch Breaking Bad
You've heard your best friend talk about it for hours on end. You want to know who Jesse Pinkman is and why just about everyone you know wants to marry him. Now's the time to find out.
9. Curb your online enthusiasm
Net-A-Porter is incredibly tempting, we're fully aware of this fact. But when you're making excuses to the delivery driver from Parcel Force as to why he's frequenting your front door every morning, you're probably buying too much.
10. Have a health MOT
Yes, you want to go to that goldmine of a flea market on Saturday, and of course you have to make time to try that quirky little tapas bar up the road, but don't forget to book an appointment with your doctor. You'll be surprised how much better you feel after a speedy check up.
11. Realise you're probably not going to end up with Ryan Gosling and go on a date
It's hard to come to terms with, we know, but at some point we all have to get our head around the fact that this beautiful man is probably not going to propose. Or even ask us out. So try going on a real date with a real man in the next few months. Who knows, he might even be better than RyGo himself (doubtful).
12. Finish that book
Put your iPhone down. Turn Danncing On Ice off. Nestle down on your sofa and get around to reading that faithful book that's been waiting patiently on your bedside table since last Christmas.
13. Keep your New Year's resolutions
That pesky little promise you've forgotten every year, until now.
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