15 Things You Only Know If You Live At Home

Your freedom is sacrificed and your lifestyle mocked - but it's not all bad...

Your freedom is sacrificed and your lifestyle mocked - but it's not all bad...

If you were lucky enough, home was - and still is - a haven of free, hot food, unlimited hugs and good times.

It was somewhere you quite happily stayed until you were granted complete freedom in the form of university for three years. Then after graduating, that bubble of escapism you'd been so happy living in was cruelly burst, and home became the place you returned to when you realised your housing expectations (2 bed batchelorette pad in Chelsea on £40k starting salary) didn't match up the reality (£800 a month in rent for a room grottier than your student digs).

But hey, it could definitely worse. Freedom's overrated and you get your washing done, right?

Here are 15 things you only know if you're living at home.

1. Your diet's more middle class than ever and now you only drink posh booze

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Tesco Value vodka and frozen ready-meals are now just a distant, disgusting memory from your last house-share (and until your next house-share, probs). Parent's alcohol cupboard FTW!

2. You're now the appointed Tech Expert for the house

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How did your Mum work the printer when you were gone? And how is it that your Dad still needs your help to use his iphone? And crucially what will they do without you?

3. Each and every lifestyle choice you make will be mocked and scrutinised

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Expect a daily dinner-time grilling from your Mum about your latest unpaid internship, or a gentle ribbing about your last Tinder date from your Dad - there are no secrets when you're living under one roof.

4. Privacy is a privilege that you can no longer afford

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That's just how it is and you better accept it.

5. Phone calls, baths, getting dressed, reading on the loo and dancing in front of the mirror are all activities that can be interrupted at any time

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Without warning OR apology.

6. Weekend lie-ins? Pah, there's no such thing when your Mum's hoovering the hall at 9.30am

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Being woken up without your permission by a vacuum cleaner which sounds like it's 3cm from your head on a Saturday is definitely the worst alarm ever.

7. And the fear is so real when you don't stick to your chores

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You can't say no to favours, seeing as your parents are, like, putting you up. But no matter how much you load the dishwasher or help with the cooking it will never be payback enough for the people who've raised you. You all know this.

8. You don't have to worry about minimum orders on a takeaway, which is nice...

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…because you won't be asked to pay! And you won't have to argue over who chips in for the prawn crackers, either.

9. But hangover-empathy when you're stuck to your sofa on a Sunday dry wretching = non existent

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Apparently sleeping all day and blaming that 'cheap sambuca' doesn't illicit the same unified response as it would with your friends. Funny that.

10. But it is nice to know that when you're actually ill you can curl up into the foetal position and be looked after like you're five again

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Chicken soup and hugs on tap are two good reasons NEVER to move out.

11. Forget hanky-panky in the family home, though...

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...Unless you live in a super-liberal house (weird) or a really big one, you won't be enjoying sex with the kind of carefree, wild abandon you enjoyed as a student - otherwise everyone will know about it.

12. But at least you're always warm and cosy

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Baltic living conditions are a thing of the past now you have a radiator that works and you don't share a house with that one person who 'wants to keep the bills down'. Oh wait - that's your Dad now...

13. Cooking isn't too bad though, what with an infinity-fridge and ever-lasting cupboard supplies

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Not to mention all times that your dinner just magically appears in front of you!

14. And you thought that ironed pillow-cases and sparkling tiled surfaces were the stuff of legend before you moved back home...

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...And remembered your bedroom is actually palatial. You've also got a new-found respect for a clean sink and matching cutlery.

15. But you're always going to be roped into those annoying, unwanted family situations....

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That you can never, ever escape from until you finally move out again.

Still living at home? Tell us about it @marieclaireuk

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