Think You’re Having A Bad Day? 15 New Girl Quotes That Show You’re Not Alone

  • Marie Claire is supported by its audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy.
  • What do we love more than Zooey Deschanel? New Girl. The kooky, clumsy, and downright adorable Jessica Day and her flatmates, Nick, Winston and Schmidt, have bad days just like the rest of us. Take a look...

    1. Schmidt: ‘I’m gonna have to run all the way home, and I have my slipperiest loafers on.’

    2. Jess: ‘I’m gonna end up alone. I’m gonna be a single old lady, flashing people on the subway.’

    3. Nick: ‘Downstairs neighbour put a password on their wi-fi.’

    4. Schmidt: ‘You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.’

    5. Jess: ‘I’m only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.’

    6. Nick: ‘This place is fancy and I don’t know which fork to kill myself with.’

    7. Winston: ‘You know, sometimes I feel like I’ve never really felt love.’

    8. Schmidt: ‘Without sex, she’s not your girlfriend. Okay? She’s a friend you buy meals for.’

    9. Schmidt: ‘Damp towel. Damp! It’s like a really big wet nap. I feel like I’m being licked by a golden retriever.’

    10. Cece: ‘I got your text. When you’re going through a “Taylor Swift-like range of emotions,” I should come over, right?’

    11. Jess: ‘At least I’m not 23, at least I own a trashcan, at least I can legally rent a car, at least I don’t live in a loft with three… at least I live with you guys.’

    12. Jess: ‘I feel like I wanna murder someone. And also, I want soft pretzels.’

    13. Schmidt: ‘The economy stinks, bees are dying and movies are pretty much all sequels now.’

    14. Schmidt: ‘I had figure skating lessons until I was 13, and then my mum sobered up and realised I was a boy.’

    15. Schmidt: ‘Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere.’

    The November issue of Marie Claire is on newsstands now. Got a tablet? You can now download Marie Claire magazine straight to your iPad, Kindle (just search the store for ‘marie claire magazine’), Nook or Google Nexus.

    Reading now