Men We Really Shouldn’t Fancy, But Do

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  • The Marie Claire online team have 'fessed up and revealed their top weird celebrity crushes. What can we say? The heart wants what the heart wants.

    Just don’t judge us.

    Louis Theroux – Josie Ayre, Fashion Features & Entertainment Assistant

    ‘I have many a weird crush, but Louis Theroux is ‘The One’ for me. I love how socially awkward he is and how long he can hold eye contact without squirming. Louis, if you’re reading, call me!’

    Adult Simba from the Lion King – Corinne Redfern, Contributing Editor (Features)

    ‘It’s the exact moment, when he walks across the fallen down log and morphs into Grown Up, Sexual Simba, all mane-flicky and arrogant and beautiful. I want to pin him down, stare at the stars (or The Great Kings of the Past, depending on how you look at it) with him and run my fingers through his hair…’

    David Mitchell – Charlotte Clark, Beauty Assistant

    ‘He’s my dream! He’s so funny, but looks like your dad as well…’

    Ian Hislop – Hannah Moore, Acting Executive Fashion Director

    ‘I think it’s something to do with the giant intellect or maybe it’s the way his eyes crease up when he giggles!’

    Simon Cowell – Jenny Proudfoot, Features Assistant

    ‘I’ve probably had a little crush on Simon Cowell since the first series of X Factor. His fashion sense upsets me deeply but he does have something about him. I can’t be the only girl who has dreamt of him calling them ‘sweetheart’ and being on the receiving end of his famous wink!’

    Wagner Moura – Lucy Pavia, Entertainment Editor

    ‘I fancy the chubby dude from Narcos who plays Pablo Escabar. He has the handlebar moustache, he’s overweight, he wears bad 80s synethetic sportswear – oh and he’s a Colombian drug lord. I have no idea why I find this character hot, but I guess the heart wants what it wants…’

    Steve Coogan – Hannah Lyons Powell, Digital Content Editor

    ‘Can I just qualify this next statement: NOT as Alan Partridge. But yes, my weird crush is Steve Coogan. I don’t know what it is. He’s just a bit sexy…or something…’

    Alan Davies – Suzannah Ramsdale, digital features editor

    ‘I watch QI mainly for Alan Davies. I think it’s his luscious locks. The curly tendrils of his Jonathan Creek days did something to me that I can’t explain.’

    Len Goodman – Olivia Marks, digital writer

    ‘Who couldn’t fail to fall for Len’s East End charm? Yes, he may be old enough to be my grandfather, but he’s still light on his feet and those teeth are all his (I think). Given his advanced years, Len’s sure to know the best place for an elegant supper, followed, perhaps, by a quick foxtrot on the dance floor. Depending on how tired he is. And then home to bed. Separately.’

    Tim Minchin – Rebecca Gillam, digital assistant

    ‘Funny AND bloody good at the piano… That’s pretty much all I look for in a man.’

    Adam Richman – Caroline Leaper, Junior Editor

    ‘He’d obviously take me on dates to all the best BBQ restaurants in America and it would be delicious!’

    Russell Howard – Eleanor Young, digital deputy editor

    ‘Don’t ask me why because I have NO idea.’

    Superbad’s Michael Cera – Robyn Munson, digital writer

    ‘Lanky, awkward and hopeless, yet totally snoggable. I’m a sucker for a lost cause.’

    Jonah Hill – Jessica Bridgeman, digital writer

    ‘Yes, this crush started long before he suited up for The Wolf of Wall Street. Sigh.’

    Aaron Carter – Hannah Gale, digital content contributor

    ‘He’s the epitome of a washed-up pop star, having had a stint in rehab and filed for bankruptcy, but he was my first crush aged 8, and I just can’t let him go.’

    Andy Murray – Becky Freeth, digital assistant

    ‘Now, I’m not at all sporty, but when summer rolls around I am all about Andy Murray. After last year’s Wimbledon win, I wept, on my own, and imagined being on the side lines with my glorious, glossy tresses and Victoria Beckham dress à la Kim Sears. I don’t know what it is. It’s probably the curly hair…’

    Who’s your weird celebrity crush? Let us know in the comment box below (it’s a judgement-free zone, we promise!).

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