9 Things We Need A Bechdel Test For - Other Than Films

Cause like, the problem doesn't end on screen guys. And NOBODY looks this happy eating salad.

[Disclaimer: We KNOW the Bechdel Test is the bare minimum for films – and Hollywood barely seems to pass it as it is. Nevertheless, we’d like to clarify that the below tests are a joke, and not nearly sufficient in terms of feminism, diversity and Not Being A Dick To 51% Of The Population]

Panel Events The Test: Two or more women answering questions that aren’t about being women in their respective areas. E.G. For a panel on coding, do not ask the female panellists about being ‘women in coding’. Just ask them about coding. Also do not sit them at both ends of the panel. This is not a sandwich.

Stock Photography The Test: Two or more women looking happy eating burgers, while dismissively pushing their lettuce leaves to the side of their plate and attempting to hide them underneath the sachets of ketchup. Two or more women in boardrooms with other women. Two or more women looking at their reflection and looking happy. Two or more women doing yoga and falling over. Two or more women whose faces go blotchy when they cry. Two or more women who never cry, except when they’re forced to look at awful photos of women looking happy while eating salad. AND SO ON.

Television The Test: Two or more women in the credits of every single TV show, without the title ‘assistant’ preceding their names.

Newspapers The Test: Two or more women on every page of the newspaper. (We were going to specify ‘fully-clothed’ women, but then we realised we wanted to include journalists’ bylines in this. And if you want to strip off to write your articles, turn up the radiators and go right ahead. But let’s pop a sweatshirt and jeans on the girl on page three either way.)

Music The Test: Two or more lyrics about a woman’s personality. Rather than, you know, how she looks in apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur.

Advertising The Test: Two or more women wearing two or more items of clothing. (Note: Apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur are great here. But add a t-shirt to the mix too.)

Business The Test: Two or more women managing two or more men, without comments being made about their childcare arrangements and whether or not they’re missing parents’ evening. Also, two or more women speaking in a meeting without being interrupted. And two or more women on the shortlist for every single industry award. (Hint: if you're struggling to find enough women to shortlist, that would be a surefire sign that it's time to employ some more, wouldn't it?)

Governments The Test: Two or more women heading up sectors other than gender equality, or healthcare.

Education The Test: Two or more women looking after departments other than English Literature, History of Art and/or Sociology. They also need to be allowed to set up projectors on their own, without well-intended-but-entirely-condescending support from a 47 year old Physics lecturer who ‘just happened’ to be walking past the lecture theatre at the perfect moment.