8 reasons freshers’ week is basically the worst thing ever

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  • No, I don't want to down it.

    Chances are, you were excited about Fresher’s week. You’d seen pictures of people in fancy dress in amazing clubs, and you couldn’t wait to escape from your parents, live on your own and get stuck into a solid week of partying. Only, let’s be honest. Fresher’s week is a total bust. It’s basically the worst thing ever. Here’s why…

    You make panic friends

    Right. You’re at uni, and you’ve got about three hours to find the people you’re going to be best friends with for the rest of your life. Or at least, that’s how it feels. Someone will start talking about who you’re going to live with in second year within about fifteen minutes of moving in, and you’ll end up becoming besties with some questionable characters just to avoid the humiliation of being on your own.

    You have to wear ridiculous outfits
    How the Fresher’s fancy dress thing came about we couldn’t tell you, but somehow it’s become traditional to celebrate your entrance into a hall of learning by wearing your old school uniform and pig tails to a club with sticky floors and £1 shots.

    You drink so much you feel disgusting
    Everywhere you go people shout ‘down it Fresher’ and despite the fact that you’re an intelligent person with bodily autonomy, you do it because – well actually you’re not sure why. Apple Sourz, Tequila, Sambucca, a pint, a couple of glasses of wine. Lovely. You’re then expected to turn up for introductory lectures the next morning. Speaking of which…

    Introductory lectures are the worst
    Despite the fact that you’ve presumably passed some exams in order to get in, the university decides that you need a week’s worth of lectures on how to use a library, a computer and probably how to use a pen. You turn up to most of them with a killer hangover because you don’t realise that they’re pointless.

    If you had a gap year, everyone seems like a child.
    If you took a year out before going to uni then you’ve probably had your fair share of partying, and you feel incredibly grown up. You might say things like ‘I’ve seen the world’ and ‘I’ve really grown up.’ You were almost definitely wrong, but you did probably have a bit more life experience than the 18 year-olds who were on a trip to A&E for alcohol poisoning after two shots.

    You eat the worst food ever
    Spaghetti sandwiches, ketchup on pasta, half cooked noodles. You probably lived off junk food without seeinga single vegetable for at least half of the first term, meaning that you put on weight, bloated and felt like total crap. The fresher’s 15 is a very real thing. And then of course…

    Fresher’s flu
    Booze. Rubbish food. Lots of new germs. It’s a perfect cocktail which will see you lying in bed, clutching paracetamol and wishing your mum was around to look after you. If you’ve got nice friends/flatmates then someone might take pity on you and bring you some Lucozade in between bar crawls.

    You get lonely
    No-one wants to admit it, but actually, the first few weeks of uni can be really, really lonely. You’re probably far from home, you haven’t made your life-long friends yet and there’s a strong chance that you’re sleep deprived and alcohol poisoned. What you really want is your mum and your own bed, but everyone else is having the Best Time Ever, so you try and convince yourself that you are too.

    To be fair, not everyone hates Fresher’s week quite this much, but the general consensus is that the first weeks of uni are incredibly stressful, so whether it’s a distant memory or in your immediate future, there’s literally no shame in having hated every second of what’s supposed to be the best week of your life. By the time you get to Christmas it’ll be a dim and distant memory. Thankfully.

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