#happyYOUyear: 'I'm challenging myself to self-love instead of New Year's resolutions this year'

Digital Features Editor Jenny Proudfoot goes from 64 New Year's resolutions in 2019 to zero in 2020...

I have always loved New Year's resolutions, taking great delight every January 1st in committing to a long to-do list for the year ahead.

Over the years however, my proposed resolutions have got bigger and my self-discipline has become more stern, resulting now in a hell of a lot of stress.

Last January, I set myself 64 New Year’s resolutions - something that undoubtedly contributed to my 27th year being my worst so far.

From getting to my dream (and unobtainable) weight to pushing for a huge promotion and starting a side-hustle business, my aims were no easy feat - they were mega goals - and I wouldn't rest until they were achieved.

2019 was hard from month one, and from medical emergencies and relationships ending to a five-month infestation, a close shave with sepsis and an eviction to top it all off, it was relentless.

What could I have done with this past year more than anything? Self-love.

I should have allowed myself to stop occasionally, let myself sleep in on the weekends and treated myself to a big slice of chocolate cake after a hard day. But instead, with 64 resolutions to tick off and a freakishly strict self-discipline, I cracked the whip.

While caring for my mum post emergency brain surgery, I was churning out articles to (in my head) secure my future in journalism. While fighting off a blood infection, I was reluctant to eat extra calories to boost my immune system, hoping to tick ‘hit dream weight’ off my list, even if I just saw it on the scales for a second.

I had completely missed the point and unsurprisingly burnt myself out entirely.

We make New Year's resolutions to 'better' ourselves, but I had become so obsessed with my aims and a need to tick them off that I actually became my worst self.

I ticked off 45 of my 64 New Year’s resolutions in 2019 - and from 'become an editor' to 'explore seven new countries', they were all real achievements. The fact that I still have 19 outstanding however makes this year's efforts feel like a failure. What is the point?

This year, I’m making zero New Year’s resolutions and focusing instead on being happy. Out with self-improvement and in with self-love.

To kick off 2020, Marie Claire is launching #HappyYOUYear, a campaign to start the year right. Every day this week we will be publishing opinion pieces, round-ups and inspirational features about self-love and acceptance.

The event of a New Year focuses too much on changing yourself. We say, focus on you, and love yourself without the pressure to make big changes within a 365 day time limit.

You're enough as you are - and that's what I will be celebrating this year.

Happy YOU Year!