Should you stay with a guy who doesn't make you come?

Sometimes enough is enough

Words by Stina Sanders

My favourite subject to discuss with my girlfriends after a few wines, is their sex life. One particular question I love asking is how many men have actually achieved the task of pleasing their sexual needs because there's nothing worse than orgasm inequality.

Often I find a lot of women have more horror stories than good. It usually starts with the fact that the majority of men don’t know where the clitoris is, or that they love to finish the deed in less than 20 seconds exclaiming, 'Wow, you came at least five times!'.

Actually, no I didn’t.

And here begins the start of my point. I refuse to date a man who doesn’t make me come during sex. If you’re a man don’t take this to heart, just read and learn. If you’re a girl – grab a cuppa and let’s talk how to have a super orgasm.

Whether you come through oral, penetration or just your hand – us girls deserve to orgasm. If you’re with a guy who slides off you after humping you like a hyperactive puppy, then he’s probably the kind of a guy who’d talk about himself for hours, let alone leave you to sleep in the wet patch on the bed.

Having sex is an intimate moment and when you both share this together, you need to be considerate of one another’s needs. Don’t get me wrong, the first time you have sex with someone, it’s always a bit awkward and you’re probably experimenting more than aiming for the big O. But if the guy you’re with isn’t putting his back into it, then get rid of him, ASAP.

If that sounds a bit harsh, then think of it this way: why would you want to be with someone who isn’t thoughtful? Every one deserves a significant other who will make an active effort for you. If that person can do that inside the bedroom, then they are more likely to do it outside the bedroom.

I want a man who can make me orgasm and on top of that remember my birthday. I want a partner who’s a freak in the sheets AND a gentleman.

I look back at my sexual history and think of all the men that didn’t make me come. The majority were not generous, self-centered and quite frankly immature. Most of them tried to hit on my mates and I’m pleased they’re in the past. There is no bitter feeling on my side (I promise), I just feel sorry for those who are emotionally and sexually selfish. There is nothing better than getting to know someone and what makes them tick in bed - that in itself is one of the best things about sex.

At the end of the day, relationships are a compromise and they are effort, but If you can’t do either, then perhaps use your hand rather than someone else…